Never Happier Than During the Pandemic

Act 1: Family Talent

My grandfather wrote funny poems, my grandmother did oil painting and could draw people, famous peoples faces and likenesses, woman posing and fashion. My mother was a cake decorator, as was my aunt, she could make icing do things that only people nowadays can do with fondant. Amateurs! She put eyelashes on every animal like it was a Muppet and drew them in long grass because she never got their feet right. Auntie was wonderful at decorating wedding cakes. She had the patience and steady hand for creating delicate, intricate patterns and lacing. She also was fairly talented on the piano and could hold a tune, as can my brother, while my mother and I could not. This is the last mention of my brother. He was the first to take a piece of me and alter how I saw myself. My mother was also a watercolorist. She did mostly landscapes and would always point out a single tree or rock that she liked, but rarely liked the whole. I couldn’t even use a pair of scissors. Later I realized it was only because I was a lefty using right handed people's tools. I learned to adapt.

I started at a young age loving to write stories, I also just really love the art of text. I have been told my whole life by many people that I have beautiful handwriting and as I type this now on a computer, I miss handwriting immensely and may be the only reason I still use a journey. I started writing my first novel when I was about 15 years old. By the time I was in high school I could quote back Shakespeare to my honors English teacher. That is also where I met my “sister”. We loved musical theater together, she loved my brand of freak flag, and she inspired me. She also was to be taken seriously with a pair of scissors in her hand.

Her first child later would inspire me to go to school for Early Childhood Education. Scarlett is something special. She seemed to get all of her parents' good qualities and none of their bad ones. Her mother would later betray me and I would lose a piece of myself that took years to recover from. I worked with young children in daycares and as a nanny for 15 years. For a class I once cut out every letter in the alphabet twice, once as capitals and once for lowercase with toddler scissors. I think that single handedly is the reason for my carpal tunnel. I am now a step-mother, just like the fortune teller said. I went into being a caregiver to a special needs pre-teen thinking I knew myself. My ego shattered, I am just now re-teaching myself how to use what I’ve got and not dwell on what I have not.

I then went back to school for Interior Design. I never realized I could draw anything until I went to art school. I am trained in technical drafting and love to draw maps. This is truly where I discovered just how creative I am. I always knew… but this proved to me that it wasn’t a wish, it was a talent. I discovered too late that I should have transferred and majored in museum exhibit design or set design. Although the title of the degree is wrong, everything I learned in art school I use on a daily basis still. By this time my mother was dead and never got to be a part of all the cool things I was creating. I thought about how much she would have loved all of it and how much I wanted her advice almost everyday. It nearly broke my heart. I used scissors to cut up her paintings and make a collage of all the rock and trees she loved.

When I got out of school I started my own business and refurbished furniture and made functional art. I struggled, I made 75 dollars the first year and spent thousands. I stopped using scissors for most things because I now had an Exacto cutting tool, a cork backed ruler and a self healing cutting mat. What else does a girl need, right? At this time I was working full time and “making” about 26 hours a week, plus doing an occasional event to try and sell my stuff. During the quarantine I moved most of my studio into my apartment and spent half the day writing my 17 year old novel, and the other half working on whatever puppet or furniture inspired project I was working on at the time. In which there were about 10 to 12 at any given time. It was probably the happiest time in my life.

Act 2: Accomplishments

I have been certified in ECE, first-aid and CPR, I have a BA in Interior Design, I started my own business and have a long product list of puppet theaters, furniture, whimsical accessories, 3D models, games, dioramas and rendering of fictitious, and real, dwellings. I am finishing my first novel and have started my own opinion series called, Down the Rabbit Hole.

Now I am a multi-hyphenate. Or I always have been and I’m just embracing the term rather than kicking myself for it. It’s not easy having your hands in so many pots. Especially when you can not succeed in any of them. I am an expert of none, a lover of everything.

I have fallen on my face too many times and had to pick myself up again, just to survive that eventually “Just keep on trekkin’” was my folly, not my fortune. I eventually had to stop and actually get those pieces of me back.

Act 3: What Success Means

Now I “make” for myself. Any puppet show I do is because it amuses me. All the furniture I refurbished that has been in my family for 3 generations will only ever be in my house. I write for those who will read, and if you don’t that is ok too. I am no longer dependent on it for my self worth. I am now looking at the smaller pieces, rather than the big picture. Now I have many people in my life that give as much as they take, and inspire me with whatever their version of happiness is. And we all have our own scissors for creating it!