MY STORY TO TELL

HAPPINESS AGAIN

Well, well, well, who the fuck would know that a truly innocent friendship would turn into so much more. So, get this crazy shit. I told you I was talking to another woman. Things were good. She lived close by and she was older than me, but I was not looking for anything serious. I was just getting used to being single. Well Hannah came home one day and mentioned that one of her best friends Rachel was walking home from where the school bus dropped her off and she was scared about a car following her. So being the concerned parent, Hannah and I made sure Rachel got home and it was then I found out her parents were going through a divorce also. Rachel was one of Hannah’s best friends. She had gone on a family vacation to the mountains with us, they often spent the night at each other’s house, they were really close. Thing was, I didn’t know her parents too well. I knew them, but that was the extent of it. I knew her mother was attractive, but fuck, there are a lot of attractive women in the world.

If memory serves me correctly, Amy, Rachel’s Mom, was a friend of mine on Facebook. I think I called her and told her about the situation with Rachel and the school bus and car following her and what not. I do not recall exactly what all was said, but at some point, she or I mentioned both parents divorcing and that started everything. We started to confide in one another and in the beginning, it was truly platonic. I definitely could use a friend during that time, because one thing you do not realize when you get a divorce, fuckers chose sides. Friends you think you have, well your ex may get them in the divorce! Also, people be so judgmental, especially the Christians. I assume it is much worse in the south due to most people being very religious. With that being said, the people I could talk to, and that would understand my situation were few and far between. Amy was most definitely an angel during a very, very difficult time.

I have heard it said that Amy caused my divorce and that is so far from the truth. It was Amy who would often tell me to make my marriage work. She told me her and her husband at the time had tried separation before and then got back together, but things were just not working. At one point, I told her, I have to try, I have to make my marriage work and I couldn’t continue to be friends with her. She was extremely supportive. She wanted my marriage to work. Well needless to say, that didn’t last long. It was evident that the reason I moved out to begin with was still there. Stephanie and I were not compatible. With that realization, Amy and I continued our friendship. It did not take long for others in the community to find out. I even had the parent of one of a Hannah’s dear friends, one who is very religious, reach out to me. She was a very good friend of ours. She told me I was wrong and I needed to make my marriage work. One thing I will say, it is truly amazing the stories I heard about myself during my divorce. Stories that were so far from the truth. But when this woman called and told me this, she posed a question to me, one that I had never pondered before that very moment. She straight up asked me, do you love Amy? Damn. What I am supposed to say? This was someone who had been a friend to me and I was a friend to her in very difficult situations. Well, me being me, one to not mince words, or to back down from saying what I feel, I gave it some thought and said you know, I do, I do love her. I had never really thought about it. See Amy and Stephanie was about as different as two people could be. Not that either one is wrong in their own skin, but they are different. Just as Stephanie’s new husband and I are so different. Just the way it was. Amy reminded me of my mother so much. Amy was taking care of her grandmother, she always put others first, something my mother always did. She had a kind, kindred soul. The fact that she was drop dead gorgeous didn’t hurt, but truthfully, she was more beautiful on the inside than she was on the outside. That to this day is still hard to believe. It is the truth though and every single person that knows Amy, knows it to be true. Once you live with someone who’s “inside” or their “soul” is not attractive, outside beauty takes a back seat to what is on the inside of a person. That is what matters in the long haul. Having a beautiful exterior is a bonus!

I always told people that Amy didn’t take me away from Stephanie. First no one had that much power, only Stephanie could push me away. Second, I was moved out before Amy and I started our friendship. So, look, I have said it before and I will say it again, the Lord works in mysterious ways. This year will mark our 10-year wedding anniversary. Amy had 3 beautiful girls from her previous marriage and I had a beautiful girl and a boy. Hannah and Rachel were friends for years before this and though Rachel was a little older, they were in the same grade. Grace, Amy’s middle child, (she claims to be my favorite), is a gorgeous, wild and funny child who was 4/5 years younger than Hannah and Rachel. She is definitely the middle child. Then you have Morgan and Abram, both were in the same grade at the same school. Morgan, Amy’s youngest, was much like Hannah in the divorce, as Hannah was a Daddy’s girl, so was Morgan. Morgan loves her dad and rightfully so, it took her a little longer to warm up to me! I think she is ok with me now! Morgan is a beautiful soul who definitely goes to the beat of her own drum and I admire that so much. Her and Hannah are very similar in that fashion. Morgan also looks so much like Amy to me, especially the older she gets.

Abram, wow, what can you say about Abram. Abram was now the baby brother to 4 sisters. 4 sisters who always doted on him and loved him. They gave him so much love and attention and they still do.

Though Abram loved the attention of all the girls, Hannah on the other hand struggled mightily. She went from being the oldest, to now Rachel was oldest. She went from being my only love, to having to share my love with Amy and the girls. Being my only daughter, to me having 3 “new” daughters. It was definitely difficult and though my love for Hannah never wavered in the least, she took it hard at times. It was just until recently Hannah finally learned that my love for her is something that can never be taken away. She is my girl; she is my baby girl. Our relationship, though it has been strained at times, is the most magnificent relationship ever. She probably admits it more now than ever before, but she is so much like her father. We can honestly sit down, have a drink, and next thing you know it’s 6 hours later and we haven’t stopped talking. She has my heart.

I could always tell when Hannah would stay with her mom though, it was those times she would come back with attitude and would be a different child. You have to understand that I had my kids every other week, and I still paid full child support. It would always take the first part of my week to find the Hannah that she was when she left my house. Once that Hannah found her way into our family again, it was time for her to go back to her mom’s. I know there was a lot of animosity towards me for moving on so quickly, but Amy and I dated for over a year and a half before we decided to get married. Funny, how someone isn’t attracted to you anymore and wants you out of the house until you find someone who truly loves you. Then they want you back and when they can’t have you back, they do everything they can to ruin you. With any blended family though, there are issues you encounter and you overcome those issues. I couldn’t imagine my life now with out all 5 of these children in it or without Amy by my side. My heart is full.