My New New Years

My New Years resolution was a simple and easy one for me to pick this year. I will tell you soon what exactly that is but first, I will explain why it was such an easy and obvious choice for me. Just to give you a little bit about my back story which will all come together in the end, I promise you. When I was younger and dumber in high school, I had a little crush on a friends from class, little sister. She was only a year younger than me but right away I knew that I didn’t fit into her “type” And looking back at the time I know I wasn’t the only person who had a crush on Wednesday Adams. And she looked just like her. I always expressed interest when around her but as life is,it just never worked out. That is until roughly 15 years later when we talked a bit through social media and finally agreed to meet for a date. And as luck would be on my side that time around, we fell in love and spent nearly every day for the next 7 years together. It started slowly enough just seeing each other after work and it helped that we only lived about a 15 minute drive away from each other. The first 3 months was like something from a fairy tale. There was nothing we didn’t find cute or funny about each other and every thing we did together. At just 3 months dating I got the news that truly felt like it gave me a purpose in this crazy world, we were expecting a daughter. Most of our family and friends were happy for us. I convinced her to let me name our daughter after a friend of mine from school that died way too young from cancer, so her name was to become Aubrey Rose. And from the first time I laid eyes on her, she was my whole world. My heart melted in those tiny little fingers, and she knew that too at a very young age mind you. It was daddy’s girl through and through. I had zero problems springing out of bed at any and all times at night to check on every and any little noise she seemed to make. Most nights I would get a disapproving look from the mom for always bringing her back to bed with us. It went on like this for the next couple of years. My daughter just got smarter every day with learning new ways to wrap her daddy around her little fingers. Sadly though it wasn’t meant to be between me and her mother. As much as we tried to make it work for the sake of our daughter and wanting her to have the together family experience. Because in today’s age that is a seldomly seen thing, and we knew that our daughter knew about that too. She had many questions about her friends family that she had in her daycare. Like why doesn’t Abby’s dad pick her up from daycare anymore. More and more questions of the like. But ultimately in the end I think she was a bit more grown up about the situation than either me or her mother were prepared for. We both made mistakes along the way that we both have to make amends for eventually. But at least we always agreed on one thing, once we became parents all our choices as adults always have to be what’s best for our daughter. You might be asking yourself what has this story to do with my resolution for this new year? Well I was just getting to that, some of my most beautiful and precious memories are of me laying with my daughter in my arms in bed relaxing watching some cartoon that has her giggling away. And all I can ever remember about those times were how big of a smile I would have on while listening to her laugh. And I must admit since I haven’t had it in a while now, but I remember always waking up with her in bed next to me ( usually kicking me in the head all night) cause kids sleep weird haha, but I woke up feeling refreshed. Even when not getting as much sleep as I wanted at night, still waking up as if I slept on a bed of clouds for hours. I guess you can’t really describe it until you have children of your own one day. It’s just one of life’s many wonders that you can’t describe until you are in that situation. So ultimately my New Year resolution this year and hopefully as many more I can get until my little girl isn’t so little anymore, is to unwind each day I can with my daughter in my arms watching her favorite shows until we fall asleep. Believe me when you wake up next to this tiny human being that looks at you like your her hero and can do no wrong, until you have this, you have no idea what life is or means. You can literally get 15 minutes of sleep in a night,but when you drive her to school or daycare and get the cutest hug and kiss you will feel like a million bucks and ready for whatever life has in store for you that day. Sadly no one is promised tomorrow,so just for today I will forever appreciate those nights.