My Mom, My Hero

When I was little and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I gave two answers. Firstly, I said that I wanted to be a veterinarian, and then I would say that I wanted to be like my mom. We all know that our answer to that question when we are kids is rarely how we feel when we actually grow up, and let me tell you, I could not have been more far off about wanting to be a vet. I may love animals but I hate the sight of blood and don’t like science enough. However, when I said that I wanted to be like my mom, I had no idea that I would still feel that way all these years later.

My mom is the strongest woman, and person, that I know, and it’s because of the adversaries she’s overcome in her life. I was born when she finished her undergraduate degree, so her and my dad were young and hadn’t figured out a career plan. My mom wanted to go to Teacher’s College, but had to give that up, as well as any type of furthering her studies because my parents couldn’t afford daycare and she wanted to be home to raise me. My dad furthered his studies while my mom stayed home, and when my dad began his successful career, he left us. During my parents’ battle for my custody at court, my mom’s dad, my grandpa, passed away, and I only realize now how hard that entire experience must have been for her. After the judge decided to give my mom the majority of my custody, while I would spend every other weekend and Wednesday nights with my dad, my dad decided to take our kitchen table from the apartment we lived in, as well as the car that they shared. My mom had nothing. Very little money, not enough education for a high enough paying job to pay for rent, no way of getting around the city, and not even a table for us to eat meals at. Luckily, my grandma and great grandma on my mom’s side, as well as my mom’s friends, helped her out by lending her money, paying for her to lease a car, and buying us a kitchen table. They helped us so much, but my mom still had to work hard to find a new job that paid enough for rent and food, and she did! The only downfall is that it was a job that she had no interest in and didn’t enjoy.

Being an adult myself now, at about the same age she was when she had me, I finally understand the strength she had to have had to get through all that, while raising a little girl, which she did so well. Growing up, I knew we didn’t have much money, but she made sure I didn’t go without anything. She bought me cute outfits and toys while she was wearing the same old clothes she’d had for years. She played games with me after school and work. She drove all the way across the city so that I could go to a French Immersion school and have an excellent education. She did everything she could to give me a life that was not defined by our circumstances. For that, she truly is an incredible human being.

Because she was so young when she had me, we both grew up together. She’s the person I go to at the end of a bad day for comfort and advice, she’s the person who knows me the best, she’s the person who has been there for all the good and bad things in my life and she’s the person who has shown me how to be a strong woman myself. I didn’t realize how strong I was capable of being until my mom couldn’t be strong herself anymore. In the summer of 2018, my mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy and six months of treatment to follow. This turned our lives upside down. Not only did I have to process the fact that my mom was going through a life threatening illness, but I had to step up and be the strong one in our family. We had to switch household roles. She was no longer the one taking care of me; she was physically and emotionally incapable. I had to get the groceries, clean the apartment, cook all the meals, take on more hours at work, and change her catheter bag while she recovered from the surgery. On top of that, I had to be strong emotionally. I had to be full of hope, to encourage her, to keep her going, to let her know that everything was going to be okay, even if inside I wasn’t sure if I was right. Taking on those responsibilities while also having to watch someone you love go through that is not something I wish on anyone, especially a young adult or teenager. However, going through that experience made me more mature and responsible. Not only did my mom recover and is now in remission, but we both came out of that stronger than before and with a completely new perspective on life. We never take anything for granted and savour every moment we get. She said to me: “I couldn’t have survived that without you and your strength” and I replied with: “I got that strength from you, Mom”.

This made me realize that life had come full circle. My mom’s strength and perseverance that she taught and showed me growing up was returned to her through me when she needed it most. Thinking about this gives me chills because life really is a beautiful thing. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason, and I know that this was the reason for my mom’s cancer. Today, I am a strong woman. I am confident in who I am, I know what I want in life, and I try my best to pay forward my strength to anyone who needs it. I am who I am because of my mom, and for that I’ll be forever grateful. She’s my hero. When someone asks me what I want to do with my life, again, I have two answers. First, I say: “I want to be a teacher,” and then I say: “Above anything else, I want to be like my mom.”