My Mom, My Hero

My unsung hero is without a doubt my Mother, Diane. My Mom didn’t want children initially, and as someone who struggles with the same doubt, I can relate to her hesitation. She eventually gave in, giving her biological clock the credit for bequeathing the throne of a childless life. But I think deeper than her body’s own timeclock was God’s timing and will for her. I believe my Mom was always meant to be a Mother but she fought her own fear, desires and temptation to remain free from the responsibilities of raising kids (as I do). She was a teacher, and she became my teacher both in the classroom and as my mother, so I know God gifted her dearly with the ability to teach, mentor and of course mother.

I wouldn’t be writing this piece, bestowed with the gift of wiring that my Mother passed down to me, unless she had given in and chosen to bear children. She brought me and three other women into this world because she set down her own will and selfishness and become a Mother, despite any and all of the challenges and struggles one faces as a parent.

But she’s not my hero simply because she gave my soul a chance in this life; she’s my hero because she follows and surrenders to the will of God in her life, always and without fear to hold her down. Whether or not my mom set out to do so, she has always done with will of God and used her special gifts to give others the faith and spiritual connection she enjoys. My mom reconnected with her own faith after she got married, and by the time she had children and raised us in church, she was teaching religious education on top of public education (which she sacrificed to raise us although if you ask her she did so because classroom management and discipline was not her cup of tea). Albeit the reason, she no longer taught as a career path, but taught in the larger sense, as a Mom, R.E. teacher and leader in the Church (Mom’s groups).

My Mom had endless influence on me growing up, and used her responsibility in raising me well, allowing God to intervene and direct my life as she gently nudged me through our attendance and involvement in church. She used her power of influence and authority to do the will of God in her children’s lives whether we wanted, liked or appreciated it at the time. My Mom could’ve easily given into our whims to stay home on Sundays (or any other days she dragged us to church), but she faithfully followed her directions as a Christian woman and honored God as she raised us.

I personally enjoyed going to church, Sunday school, R.E. classes and the Atrium, and my involvement in church shaped who I am as a person and the paths I’ve followed in life. As I reflect on my Mom’s heroic presence, guidance, sacrifice and influences on my life, it is mostly in conjunction with God’s, minus a few human preferences on her part! As she enacted her extension of Godliness in my life, I grew a deep faith and love for God, service and fellowship which always guided me toward the blessings, favor and purpose of God.

My Mom continued to be active in the church as we grew older, stepping down from R.E. into further involvement in church where she led ministries that ministered to Mom’s and women in general. I saw her leadership skills and attributes as I grew up, and although I never believed in myself or saw myself as a leader, I subconsciously soaked up her examples. When my Mom grew weary from endless sacrifice as a Mom working jobs that didn’t fit her gifting and spirit for God, I watched her endure the consequences of her choices, even if they were well-intentioned and according to her duties as a parent and wife.

She had taken jobs to pay bills and gain flexibility to raise children, but deep down she wanted more from work. She wanted the chance to meld ministry with career, and do the work of God more often than the occasional ministry meeting and workshop. With the gusto of God’s motivation and direction, she studied to become a Spiritual Director after we grew up and left home. I watched as my Mom dutifully and faithfully followed her prompting to become a Spiritual Director, taking notice of her own desire to direct her life more closely in accordance with God’s will and her spirit’s longing to support and minister to more people, as she’d always done as a mom, friend, wife and ministry leader. I had also taken notice of her gift of writing as she joined a women’s writing group and later facilitated her own writing groups to encourage and administer the gift of writing, something I have taken to once I realized I picked up the same gift.

I may not have always known or appreciated the impact my Mother has had on my life, but I can connect the pieces that helped me get to where I am now. I see myself as my own individual with many strings woven together in my patchwork quilt because I am Diane’s daughter.

My love of God, Church, spirituality, writing, teaching, ministry, service and nature all stem from the connection to my Mother and the ways she is so intricately tied to God and creativity. She simply lives a life that I want to emulate and have after watching her lead an authentic and self-sacrificing life all my years.

My Mom takes notice of the tiny wonders and joys in life all around her, finding God in all things through her Ignation Spirituality worldview, writes avidly, laughs daily, learns as much as she can, continues to teach her adult children and nudge them gently toward a God-affirming and honoring life, truly enjoys living and can have fun with the best of them. She has an affinity for chocolate, good books, self-knowledge, prayer, photography and mentoring that I admire and happen to also encompass. But most of all, she has a passion for God, through her faith in Jesus Christ and daily acts that spread the Gospel and bring those still walking in darkness into the Light.

My Mother is my twin in many ways, and because she’s my hero, I am who I am today. I owe her my life, because she gave me life and not just an ordinary life, but an extraordinary life filled with God’s everlasting love, mercy, peace, wisdom, and understanding that I get to share in and spread every day, just as she does.

I love her with all my heart and if I decide to be a mother one day, I hope I can be the kind of mother, teacher, mentor and hero to my own children, and allow their future Grandmother to extend everything she’s bestowed upon me unto them.