My Loving Husband Told Me To Marry Someone Else

The Request

“Will you promise me something Daisy?” James asked. “I know you will probably say no, but I have to ask.”

“Okay honey, but it is hard to think of anything else but what is happening right now,” I said valiantly fighting back tears.

“Please find a good man and get married again,” James uttered those words out of pure love, and I cannot imagine how hard it was for him to say them.

“You are so young, honey. You have to get married again.”

“How can you ask me to do something like that?” I asked half incredulous and half touched.

“I know you deserve love and I apologize for not being able to give it to you for the rest of your life,” he said. I reached my hand up and touched the side of his withered face. I nodded yes, just because I knew it would put his mind at ease.

“There is one more thing I need, Daisy,” James said sheepishly “I don’t want to die in this hospital, please take me home.”

I told him I would talk to his doctor and if he agreed, I would take him home.

After his doctor confirmed that the result would be the same whether he was in the hospital or at home, I honored James’ wishes.

The Conversation of A Lifetime

When we pulled into the garage, and I removed the key from the ignition my heart sank. I felt guilty that I didn’t make him stay in the hospital and fight for more days on this planet. I felt like my shoes were lead as I approached the passenger door to get him out of the car. He was so emaciated, I carried him in my arms into the house.

I gently laid him down on the living room sectional and placed a pillow under his head. Then after a few minutes, I gingerly removed the pillow, and let him rest his head in my lap.

“Our life together has been more than I could have ever hoped for Daisy.” “I am not afraid to die I just hate that I have to leave you.”

These words still ring in my ears to this day. I told him I wanted to talk about our whole life together from the time we met up until this day.

We spent hours laughing about how I tried to introduce him to one of my friends when he had every intention of marrying me. I stroked his soft, black curly hair gently and kissed his forehead. This would be the last conversation we ever had.

I carried him to the hospital bed where he would leave this life just a few days after returning home.

The Last Day

His remaining days became a cycle of me changing his diapers and sitting by his bedside, waiting for him to go home. He didn’t speak or even know that I was in the room. Then one day, his eyes opened wide, and he started smiling. He looked as if he was seeing people he hadn’t seen in a long time.

The jubilation on his face was so overwhelming I started to tear up because I realized it was time. His eyes closed, and he drew his last breath. I was holding his hand, and I felt the warmth leave. It was replaced by a feeling of nothingness.

I let his hand go and just fell to my knees, wailing in anguish. Knowing it was going to happen did not ease the pain of when it happened.

My king, protector, lover, and best friend was gone.

The Failed Promise

Twenty-five years since James’ death, I still have not married a good man though he requested me to do so. I don’t know why he thought I would ever be able to love with my whole heart again. After all, I lost half of my heart when he died.

I often wonder if he is disappointed in me for not obeying his wishes. I don’t know that I ever felt I could follow through with the request in the first place.

I was only twenty-nine when my husband passed away, and he was thirty. I did not have him as long as I wanted, but I thank God I did get the opportunity to have him in my life.

Thank you for reading about my failed promise.