My Husband Chose Another Woman Over Me (How To Make My Husband Leave His Mistress)

If your husband left you for another woman, you are not alone. After all, over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Even if both of you wanted to save your relationship, the time after an affair can be a volatile one. But if your husband decided that he wanted to be with her instead of you, but you still want to be with him, where does that leave you? If you still love your husband but he left you for someone else, can your marriage be saved? What should you do if you think you want him back?

If you think you want to save your marriage, even after your husband left you for another woman, the first thing you need to do is evaluate your own emotions. Even if your husband does come back to you, you need to come to terms with what happened and why he had an affair in the first place. You have to decide whether or not you can really forgive him for the affair and for choosing the other woman. Plus you have to decide whether or not you can really trust him if he does come back. You need to make the choice for yourself that not only will you be willing to give him the chance to gain your trust again, but also that you won't be suspicious and controlling while the two of you rebuild your relationship.

Once you get your mindset straight, you can start to work on what you need to do to get him to come back to you. Your willingness to work on your marriage is one of the biggest steps you can make, but you also have to realize that if he did leave you for another woman he might not want to come back. Your chances of getting your husband interested in you again largely depend on what kind of relationship you have at the moment. For example, is he talking to you right now? Does he seem like he is still interested in you? Does he talk about coming back to you and your family? If he has broken off all ties with you and won't speak to you right now it doesn't necessarily mean that your marriage can't be saved. There is always the possibility that he will suddenly realize that you are the best person for him and that he wants to save your marriage.

Whether or not your husband still talks about coming back to you, there are things you can do in the mean time to increase your chances of getting him back. What are they? One, do not sit around waiting for him to come back. You need to take this time apart to really do things that you've always wanted to do but put off because of responsibilities. Have fun and try your best to enjoy your life and not put everything on hold. Two, make sure that you take care of yourself. Make yourself as attractive as possible so that every time he does see you, he takes notice. Don't let yourself get down in the dumps and depressed, instead, boost your self esteem by making sure you feel as good about yourself as possible. Also, vow to yourself that you will try to make every conversation you have with your husband as drama-free as possible. Try to keep everything lighthearted and uncomplicated so that you can start to relate to each other in the same way you used to before life got in the way.

All relationships have their weak moments. Your relationship with your husband did and his new relationship will as well. That's why it's so crucial that you position yourself as a friend and confidante to him. Although you may feel that you're making yourself look weak or used by doing this, you're actually not. Your husband will see your desire to be friends as a sign of maturity and acceptance. He'll come to respect you for it.

Your history with your husband and all those wonderful moments you shared before he left you are what you will draw your strength from now. Get close to him again by establishing a friendship. In time, he'll open up to you and confide in you. He'll begin to see you as the source of strength in his life. That will ensure that when the cracks begin to show in his rebound relationship with her, that you'll be there waiting to help him heal again.

Reasons Why You Should Not Talk to Your Husband's Mistress

Since the day you found out about his infidelity you have wanted to know about the other woman, namely his mistress. Initially you just wanted to put a face to the woman that had been (and continues to be) the cause of so much of your pain and heartache. But now you want to confront her and satisfy some vague, assorted need to get to know her or get to hear her side of the story or to understand what he saw in her. You are not really sure why you want to talk to her but you think it may help you come to terms with your husband's infidelity. But should you talk to your husband's mistress? What are the reasons why you should not talk to your husband's mistress?

1. She owes you nothing. Yes she was a party to your husband's infidelity but he is the one that cheated on you not her. Your husband made the vows of fidelity to you. His mistress did not make any vows to you did she? He brought her into your marriage and put you in this situation. Focus your attention on the real culprit, your husband.

2. You will not learn anything useful. What could you learn from talking to her? Even if she was gracious, friendly and willing to give you all the sordid details; how would that help you? Already your imagination is working overtime putting together various imaginings of what transpired between the two of them; do you want more fodder to feed that imagination? Get whatever information you need from your husband as this will be more merciful as he will skip over the fine points and spare you the particulars that torture you even more. You want to heal from the infidelity not prolong it by bathing in all the details.

3. More battles. You are hurting and are fighting to recover from his infidelity; do you want to take on another battle? True you want to hurt her as much as she hurt you but she will probably not sit back as you hit out at her. She will dish it out to you as well and both of you will come away bruised. Even if she just sits back and lets you take it out on her your victory will soon feel bitter as you see her grace in handling you. Life is about picking your battles and this is one of those battles that you cannot win.

4. He will feel justified. If you talk to his mistress you will have a public verbal or physical altercation where both of you show your lack of grace; or she will ignore you or refuse to engage you so that she comes away looking like the wronged party. Whatever happens your husband will feel some comfort that even though he cheated on you it was because of the behavior he now sees in you. It is a human tendency to try and justify even that which is totally wrong. Do not give him the opportunity.

5. She is not the problem. I know that you want to blame her but if it wasn't her would it not have been another woman? The problem is your husband's unfaithfulness and she was one of the options that he chose. If he was faithful to you then his mistress would never have been a problem to you.

Talking to your husband's mistress is moving his infidelity battle to the wrong person and to the wrong arena. You are focusing on the wrong person and on the wrong issues. And this just reopens the wound he caused so that you take forever recovering from his infidelity. You want to recover from his infidelity and not spend years in this hateful depressing place.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage