My Husband And I Can't Stop Fighting (I Love My Husband But We Fight All The Time)

It can be frustrating to be married and feel as if you never agree on anything! Yet you wouldn't be married at all if you had not agreed that you loved each other and hoped to have a long and satisfying relationship together. Most married couples begin as friends and then become lovers. Keeping the friendship alive and well is one of the most important things you should do in a marriage for many reasons.

Agreeing to Be Nice to Each Other

When you think about the people you are friends with the chances are you think about the fun times you have spent together. There may be disagreements and petty differences that have to be ironed out periodically, but the fact is that friendships take nurturing. We are usually willing to overlook those times when our friends are difficult or having a bad day. This is the same kind of consideration you should give your spouse.

When two people come to believe they have nothing in common the issue is really the fact they have not nurtured the relationship. Marriage should be considered a friendship and the most important one in your life. That means you must give it even more consideration than you give your other friendships. To keep a relationship healthy, it's important to find commonalities and share quality time together.

When you feel as if you have nothing in common with your spouse, it is likely that you and your spouse have not even discussed your common goals for a long period of time. When first married, setting long range goals is a great way to form a bond. But goals must be amended and altered and new ones created as time goes by. If you don't maintain your list of goals then it is easy to begin to drift apart.

Being a friend means treating someone you like with honesty and respect. If you are convinced you have nothing in common anymore with your spouse, the first step to restoring the relationship is to re-discover each other as friends with common goals.

Major and Minor Issues

Disagreements on a regular basis in a marriage can be small or large. You can squabble about the household chores or have huge arguments about money. Either way you are going to find yourself becoming more and more distant from your husband or wife. You will also stop trying to find things you have in common, because the disagreements take on a life of their own. Constant arguing can overshadow everything else in the marriage.

When you argue a lot and don't feel like friends any longer, it's easy to feel as you have nothing in common anymore. But that is simply not true. You have plenty in common but you have to make an effort to identify exactly what those common things are in your relationship. From there you can begin the process of restoring the friendship to your marriage.

The first step is to talk to your spouse and identify those areas where you never seem to agree. Then you should find a point where there is agreement. Once you get past the first point the odds are more will follow. You can do this for each item on the list. Then you can develop a new goals list. On this list will be what you and your spouse would like the future to hold. You can compare the goals list to the problems list and identify how your problem solutions support your goals.

Holding Hands

After identifying common goals, you can then take a walk and hold hands! Yes....you should hold hands and remember once again what it was like to be young and in love and looking at the future with a single purpose. Did you talk about the children you hope to have? Did you dream of the house you now live in? Cherishing the memories and then comparing them to your present reality can help you see that you have a lot in common as a couple. You may argue now over the household finances, but at one time owning the house was a major goal you agreed upon.

True friends are always working to keep the friendship strong. When you become a married couple, you can't let the friendship die a quiet death. Instead you should work to make it an even better friendship by taking time out for each other on a regular basis. It's important to do the things friends do and that includes envisioning the hopes and dreams for the future.

By re-establishing your friendship you will be able to once again find common ground.

What Can I Do If My Husband And I Fight All The Time?

Everyone knows that in every marriage there are fights and troubles. However, sometimes those fights and troubles build up and start threatening the marriage itself. It is not uncommon for wives to ask "my husband and I fight all the time - what should I do in order to repair my marriage?" This is a good question - for fighting all the time can quickly wear down both sides, and after some time, can start doing irreparable harm to your marriage. The sooner you act to solve the problems, the less chance there is of a divorce.

The primary problem in constant fighting is not the serious quarrels it might lead to. The real problem is that if you are fighting all the time, after some time you and your husband will simply stop talking because you are afraid that the conversation might turn into yet another fight. And when couples stop communication, they begin to speculate about the other's life and feelings. And that can never end well. So, if you and your husband are fighting all the time, whatever happens, you must always think of keeping the lines of communication open and not allow any kind of speculation. Let your husband know what you are living and what you are thinking.

To solve some issues, someone has to compromise. I know, you are thinking, "well, my husband and I fight all the time and he doesn't compromise about anything, so why should I?". But have you ever thought about this: Maybe your husband is thinking the exact same thing about you? Namely, "she never compromises, so why should I?"

The truth is that one side has to compromise. Trust me in that, if you start compromising about things and taking them easy, you will see some sort of reflection of that in your husband, and he will start taking things calmly too. If neither side gives in to anything, it is impossible to maintain a marriage; because you two are different people with different likes and dislikes, yet living under the same roof. There are bound to be conflicts. If nobody compromised, no marriage would ever have a chance to continue existing. So, if you are complaining "my husband and I fight all the time", it might be the time to start taking it easy in some of the issues and relieving the stress around them.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

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