My Extended Family Was Once Large

Two of my first cousins passed away in sixteen days. They were sisters and were very close to one another. One of these cousins recently retired from the teaching profession and looked forward to a life of enjoyment after 30 years of service in the field of education. The other enjoyed being a mother and took pride in her adult children. Perhaps the second sister who was left behind died of a broken heart. I guess no family member will ever know.

It has been difficult for my extended paternal family and immediate family to come to terms with their unexpected deaths. And it has been hard for me to adjust to their untimely departure because they were so close to my age.

Burying two cousins who were siblings days apart has made our entire family realize how precious life is. Their passing has also made the family realize how no one knows when their appointed time to die is. This has caused our extended family to strive to become closer and to strive for more unity. Above all, we are more determined to love one another unconditionally.

I Remember A Time

There was a time when I had so many aunts and uncles that I could not quantify their existence. But through the years, they slowly passed away into eternity along with my grandparents and several other cousins. My father was also one of the family members who died in February 2020. Out of the dozens of aunts and uncles that I once had and took for granted, I now only have three aunts and one uncle. This includes paternally and maternally. I am blessed that my 84-year-old mother is still alive.

While my extended family is shrinking in size, it continues to grow at the same time. As family members have passed away, other family members have married and have had children and their children have had children. I remember a time when I knew all my cousins by name. Now I don’t know many of them. Sadly, I may pass them on the highway called life without knowing they are even a part of my family.

Family bonds have been broken over time. That is why my huge family has become so small. I am just as guilty as many other family members for living my busy life without including them or getting to know them. I have been just as guilty of thinking that they don’t care about me or my child while my indifference has shown that I do not care the way I should.

I experienced an authentic moment of realization at my first cousin’s funeral. While I embraced my Aunt Queen Esther, the Matriarch of the family, she said these words to me

“always remember that your aunt loves you…always remember that.”

That made me realize that there is much love to give and to receive within my extended family. And I choose to activate love.

Even after family members have died, love will enable those left behind to carry on.

I am determined to continue to be the best daughter that I can be to my mother. And I will endeavor to be the best extended family member that I can be to my relatives by building healthy and loving relationships with them.

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This story was originally published on Medium.com in ILLUMINATION-Curated.