My Elder Once Said

Starting way back, I never thought that what my elder said was special. I was a kid and was ignorant. Quite frankly, I did not think for a second about how important it is.

It was fascinating now that I grew up. I begin to learn about the depth of my culture. To say so the least, I learn that my culture itself was not as bad as I thought. However, my culture is very biased.

Going way back, during my ancestral time. The word 'Gold' has a valuable meaning for wealth, riches, success, and life long-lasting. In a way, it was important during that time because gold is valuable.

Back then, not only was gold valuable but having a son is even more valuable (or equal to gold)- "for a son who has gold in their hand." In contrast, a daughter's value is the opposite. Nowadays, I believe that all gender is equal and should be treated as such.

A little more about my culture. Many clans lived in a close proximate. Take, for example, a village usually contains at least two or three clans. No matter, living in the village, the establishing rules of interchangeable marriage could be skewed.

(NOTE: By 'clans,' I meant the difference in the last name.)

The parent hoped to have a son to 'hold' the house/home. Once old, the son will be the successor that will allow the old parent to live with relative ease. Then the cycle repeats and so on.

A son will be able to bring a bride home. Thus, increases the helping hand of the groom's family. Since most livelihood is from farming, another helping hand is highly valued.

Meanwhile, a daughter will become an outsider sooner or later once married. A bride is expected to wake up early to cook for the family (for the in-laws). The in-house sisters (sister-in-law) will help if the family has a few daughters. Not only that, the bride is expected a lot of things. Most importantly, a bride has to conceive an heir (a son to 'hold' the family/clan bloodline).

Otherwise, if a bride can only conceive daughters. The groom has the right to look for a second wife. Then onto the third wife if the second could not conceive any son. Hence, the clear differences in status and their importance.

In this regard, I felt that there should not be such a stark difference between a son and a daughter. No matter what, both are still the offspring of the parents. A daughter will be able to love the parent like a son, no matter if they become an outsider.

Over time, I have personally seen one of my relatives whose wife could only conceive daughters. Disappoint as he could be, he did not find a second wife (which I find completely normal, but unacceptable for some of the elders in the clan).

Back then to modern times, culture change is apparent. Marriage is still highly regarded, but lax.

Moving on, the word 'Hand' signifies a lot of things.

To others, it might not be much but hands. However, it does not mean that a person is born with wealth and riches. In more of a sense of hard work, effort, utilization, and to hold.

To gain wealth is to work hard. There would be no heir if one did not find a wife. There would be no food on the plate if no one plows the field. There would be no riches if no one find them (in the past, hunting is part of it). There would be no success if no one is willing to put in the effort.

With all due respect, when put together. What my elder said has a deeper meaning. A person needs to put true effort into achieving their dream. Once achieved, success is at hand (Success can be anything simple to the utmost important).

Strive harder than anyone else and grab hold of the gold bars laid on your hand. That gold bar is yours and yours alone. If you do not grab it, no one will be able to grab it for you.

Remember readers, "Gold is on your hand."