My dearest dad

Dear dad,

My dearest dad, I don't think I could ever put into words how much you mean to me, but I sure as hell am going to try.

My dad, my dad, is one of the best fathers out there. Him and my mom have been amazing parents and have tried their best to raise me the only way they knew how, with respect, dignity, and so much love. I believe my dad is probably one of the best men alive, he has never hurt me, my mother, or anyone else for that matter. He was a football player in high school so I guess I better retract that last statement, but most of all, he was full of love, compassion, and so much understanding it makes no sense sometimes. I've only seen him cry 4 times in my life that I can remember, and they were hard times on our family. When his mom died, when his dad died, when I got into some trouble as a teen, and when my mom tried to commit suicide. Like I said, hard times for our family.

My dad accepts me and all my faults, my disappointments, and wishes for nothing but my happiness in life, even if it means he won't be apart of it all the time. The way I grew up was deeply entrenched in religion, and my parents still are very religious, and even though I decided to leave it, my parents are still very much apart of my life, we talk daily and are still very close. While my mother just wants me to do as she asks, my dad, while he wants me to be back in the religion, he knew for 2 years that my heart was no longer in it. My dad knew and just let me do my own thing, let me reconnect with my best friend I've had since kindergarten, let her stay the night, let me have my own comforts, even though it may have made him uncomfortable, he never said a word to me about it and my mom never said anything about it either.

When my mom tried to commit suicide, it was the roughest part of his life and mine and my moms. She has bipolar depression, so its not like she needs a specific trigger or that she's crazy, or a bad mom, cause she's not. But when I heard my dad cry on the phone, and seeing it in person broke my soul into pieces, it hurt so much to see him so broken hearted, thinking he could've lost the one woman he loves most in the world. Sometimes I get flashbacks of those moments, and I'll start to tear up a little, just because I never want that for him again.

My dad is a hard working man. All the men in my family pretty much are either in the flooring business, or have worked in the field for a period of time while working for their dads or for my dad. My dad can spend a 16-hour day on the floor laying wood, carpet, tile, etc. my dad needs both shoulders, and his knees replaced just so he can keep the lights on for my mom, and for when he wants to buy her something nice. He works so hard and worked so hard to give me such an amazing life, an amazing childhood, I was able to go to Disney World every other year as a kid from the time I was 2 years old until I was about 10 I think. We always did a vacation though, even if it was to Branson, Missouri. Now he works hard to just keep the bills paid, and food on the table. There are so many things I wish I could give him; new knees, new shoulders, new body all together really. He has given me so much, and has inspired me to be a good person, even if we are both a little antisocial on good days.

I remember the times when me and my niece or nephews would fight, and he'd take me out of the house knowing it wasn't my fault, or to get me to calm down when it was my fault. He'd take me to movies pretty regularly, I remember going to go see Spider-Man 2 (yes the one with Toby Maguire) when it first came out, it was just the two of us, and he got the popcorn, root beer, candy, and hot dogs, if it was just the two of us he went all out. From that day on, we always went to see whatever new Marvel movie came out together, just the two of us. We'd have daddy daughter dates, even up to before I moved out, we'd go to dinner before we went home from when he picked me up from work, and I cherish those moments everyday. Sometimes I hate being 6 hours or so away from my parents, I miss them daily but especially my dad. I got to see him on video during a video chat for my middle sister's wedding, and I about burst into tears. He looked happy to be there which is strange for him in any sort of social setting, but he seemed quite content and I couldn't have been happier for him, been more jealous of him, or missed him more in that moment. If you cannot tell, I'm a daddy's girl, I love my dad so much, and I miss him like crazy.

I decided to write this because the other day, I was talking to someone about him and I started to tear up while talking about how good of a person he is and how loving he is, and I couldn't ask for a better dad than the one I have, and I wish everyone was as lucky as I am to have him in my life. Another reason I'm writing this, is because he thinks he's going to die in like 9 years, so I want to have something to say. As much as I tell him to quit talking like that, he's pretty sure of his own longevity which is spooky to me. But I love him anyway, and dad, you have my love, my heart, and my respect.

Love, your daughter.