My daddy is the greatest

This movie reminds me so much of my own childhood. The most easy going and fun to be around dad in the entire world was ours and only ours. I always thought we had the best dad in the world even when he had to bring down his business and was a stay at home dad (Still a king). Yes he was still a king as he had very little to do as a stay at home dad, he did not have to take much care of us as we had our school to spend all day and the lady of the house made sure all food was prepared for the day and the all the household work was completed for the day. My mum managed to take care of the household earnings and she was making 1000 rupees a month and she still has the budgeting books she kept for late 80s and early 90s, we really lived comfortably in those days with just 1000 rupees per month. I never saw them fighting even once despite being in such tight circumstances, which is why as kids we never even thought for a second that we were unhappy or we lacked something.

Childhood ended and we became young adults in the late 90s. Gone were the days when a family could live comfortably with 1000 rupees. Mum had to give up her job and become a stay at home full time mother while dad stayed away from home in a different city to bring home the bread and essentials. This time earnings were 50k per month which was decent enough for those days. But the sacrifices were turning out be costly. I used to cherish the days when he visited once every 2 months. The weekly phone calls to the neighbour's house was what we looked forward to the most (Now there are so many apps to reduce our distance but the frequency did not increase despite how close knitted we were as a family before all the modern tech took control of our lives). Those were the days when each of us was practicing survival in the ever transforming India.

Teenage ended and then the hard times of the 80s came back to us again, this time the every penny coming in was speeding into a every hungry black hole. Engineering costs were eating up into the savings and there was no money being made as the benignness of our major breadwinner was creating a dent in the family's societal position. There was also the added pressure of the burning coal like daughter who was fast approaching her 20s and the dowry system would mean he needs to earn to please the society. Those were some really dark days as he was not earning any money but spending money out of his pocket to guard the wealth of his sibling who would vacation for months in the United states of America. This is when reality started to kick in. Dad is no longer the greatest, all of dad's weaknesses were starting to get exposed.

Being too good, being too satisfied are all personality disorders, this is the lesson we got to learn from our dad's vulnerabilities. Every second person would take advantage of his benignness. From his brother to his son and every other person in his circle would just see him as an opportunity to make money off. Self guardedness is very very important in this day and age. Being harsh and saying no when things are not feasible should be the right way forward. Just going by the day and letting things happen to you do not make you a sensible person.

My dad is still the greatest despite what he has been through. He has showed us the way and highlighted the mistakes we need to avoid. His kindness and good nature are paying me back today. I tend to stay away from any loan seekers, I would rather lose friends than be in a situation that can be avoided by a simple No. I had 2 bad experiences when my benignness was taken advantage of. I promised myself never to mix money and relationships. Bygones are left behind. But I have never forgiven a cousin of mine who constantly pestered me for a loan. He could turn around today and introduce himself as a successful entrepreneur, I would still not entertain him. I have not liked him at his lowest (self imposed lowness expecting handouts from others), I will not appreciate him even if he is higher than me. All this spite in me had been shaped by the mistakes of my dad (this is whom I always looked up to). I do get told off by my dad that we are part of a society and we cannot hold grudges for long. It is always better to be harsh than getting hurt is my learning from life.

Our elders are unknowingly setting themselves as examples for us to follow for the rest of our life. Most of us want to follow in our elders footsteps but it may not always be true that their footsteps will always lead us the right way, sometimes it is best to make a new path on our own.