My Bestfriend, My Mama

My mom was no ordinary woman. In fact, I spent most of my childhood imitating her to someday be classified as the same. I would study her poses as she smiled for the camera and listened intently to her conversations. Not only was her smile contagious, but so was the poise in how she approached conversations. Her grace and selflessness was admired by many and when she departed from Earth (but never from my heart!), I knew that the only responsibility I had was to exemplify the same characteristics as my best friend, my mama.

She was a hardworking woman. I never understood how she was able to do it all, but somehow she did. As a youngster, I never heard her complain about the tasks of the day. In fact, she would say things like: “I’ll get it done” or “Where there is a will, there is a way.” Her independence was unmatched and she raised me to acquire the same discipline. In every talk we had, she would remind me that it was up to me to make my dreams come true. She lived by the same principle. If she wanted something, she wouldn't wait for anyone to give it to her. She had a drive that drove her to do anything she put her mind to. As a single parent, she carried the same tenacity.

When my dad left, I was 9 years old. It was then that I started to understand my mom’s strength. She was a warrior. She didn't allow her situation to define her, but rather propel her further into her destiny. At the time of my dad’s departure, she was 51 years old. In case you’re doing the math, she had me when she was 42 years old. How’s that for strength? I told you! While she might have been getting older in age, she was young in her mindset. She would always think about her next move or big plan and would work tirelessly until she obtained it.

Now, at the age of 25, I have people reminding me of how much I resemble my mom (not only aesthetically but in my behaviors as well). Whenever I go to family gatherings or around my mom’s childhood friends, they say, "Look at you! You are Gwen's twin!"

"Yes!” That’s all I’ve ever wanted! To be known and referenced as her twin, is an honor. On February 17, 2016, my mom handed me the baton to continue living out her legacy. While cancer was the cause of her death, I believe that Heaven couldn’t wait for one of its most precious angels. When the cancer began to eat at her body, she still exemplified a strength like no other. I stood there, at her bedside, watching her as she would fight the good fight. She didn't complain. She didn't throw in the towel. She didn't feel sorry for herself. Instead, she prayed silent prayers. It was in those moments that I remember her telling me to pray instead of worry. She believed that worrying equated to stress and stress was a killer on its own.

On the day of her passing, I remember holding her hand and crying hysterically. While there was no physical strength in her body, I felt something happening in and through mine. It was almost as if she had given me the last of her strength. It is because of the strength that she embodied that I can stand today. I stand knowing that I can do anything and be anyone I want to be as long as I remain steadfast in my goals, dreams and aspirations.

My mother was a high school graduate with hopes of going to nursing school. Since she came from a family of 8, those dreams weren’t attained. However, her ultimate dream was to be a mother and serve children. She became a mother at the age of 18 and had another child at 22. Twenty years later, she had me! At 42 years old, she gave birth to her last child. She worked a part-time job as a crossing guard and was successful in her stewardship. All of the kids (and not to mention, their parents) loved her! My mom touched people all over the world with her kindness and gentle spirit. Her ability to be herself and love without limits is a success story in and of itself. That, in my opinion, is inspiring.

I am honored to call Gwenda Crew-Hunter my bestfriend, my mama. May she rest in peace always and know that I am living out her legacy with the same class and grace she exuded.