Moving Out

On New Year's Eve I had no idea that on January 15 I would be in my own apartment. I wasn't planning to move out of my parent's house until June when my boyfriend graduated. Then I got kicked out of my house for not making my bed...yeah.

So what happened was my parents asked me to come home early one night because they had an appraiser coming to look at the house. No big deal, I came home and cleaned my room. Then the next morning I was running late for work so I left without making my bed. I get to work and see a text from my stepmom. It was rude and it said that I had to pay $50 because the "hotel fees" are kicking in. Well if it's a hotel then why do I do the laundry, the dishes, and clean my brother's pee of the toilet? Anyways when I told her I wasn't paying, my dad steps in and says it's $50 or I'm kicked out. They didn't think I would have the balls to do it but I packed my shit and left.

It also felt like everything was my fault when I lived there. The funny part though is that I was never there. I have a full time job so when I'm not working I'm either with my boyfriend or at the gym. Although I wasn't there as much, I would always come home and make sure the dishes and laundry were done before I left. I still would get a rude text message once a week at least about something I did or something I didn't do. Then when I got home I would ask or apologize and I would be blown off. The environment there was growing more and more toxic as well because my dad and stepmom were counting down the days until all the older kids moved out. They said they wanted alone time because the sacrificed their marriage for us but when you marry a person with kids that's what you were signing up for. Also we're never home and when we are we mostly stay in our rooms so I don't really see where they are coming from.

I lived between my mom's house and my boyfriend's house for about a week and half until I got my apartment. Now I have lived there for three days and it is so nice and peaceful. I feel like I'm in a hotel. It was so scary to make the leap to move out but it's so worth it to have my own space.

My new year's resolution is to keep standing up for myself. I used to be really good at this but then I went through a confusing time in my life that caused me to go back in my shell. Then someone came into my life that showed me how to be me again and without her I would have never had the balls to move. I would still be letting both of my parents and everyone else I know push me around. Because I have been being more of an advocate to myself lately, I am not afraid to take chances. I am no longer afraid of opportunities and I am taking them as they fall into my lap. Making a big and unexpected leap this early into the new year has showed me that I can be my own person. I have always secretly cared what people thought of me because I felt like they had control over me. Not anymore. I am me, and I am loving it so bring on 2021!