More Surprising Facts About Divorce

I recently wrote an article about things that may surprise you about divorce. If you haven't had a chance to read it, you can check it out here.

That being said, I don't think that this story was done. In fact, I could probably write one or two more articles about all of the things that you may find surprising about divorce. 

Here are some more facts that you may not realize. 

It is harder than you think to make a "clean break." It can take months to get everything divided up and put into your separate names. Think about all of the accounts that you have together, including your bank accounts, retirement funds, tax documents, and much more. 

If you are a woman, you may decide to get your name changed back, and then you have to change everything that is in your old name. All of this can take a lot of time, plus you may have to spend some extra time with your ex trying to get this all completed.

You are going to lose some friendships. Though you may not think that you are going to lose some of your friends, the truth is that you probably will. You will probably lose the friends that came along with your husband or wife. 

Many people will choose sides, and choose to remain friends with one of you. Some will try to stay friends with both, but eventually, they will choose one over the other. It is just too hard to continue a friendship with both sides. 

You may also lose friends over the change in dynamics. You may lose some of your couple friends because you won't be hanging out as couples anymore. They may prefer spending time with both of you, instead of having a third wheel tag along on dates.

That being said, some of your friendships may become even better. Once you settle into your new life, you may find some of your old friendships becoming even stronger. You may have more time to spend with the family and friends that you want to, which will only make the relationship stronger.

In fact, your relationship may be better with your ex. After some time has passed, you may realize that you can be friends with your ex. Though it may take a few years, you may find yourself thankful to have him or her in your life. You are going to want the best for him or her, and only want to see your ex happy. 

Though you shouldn't rush this. Both of you are going to need some time before you start working toward a new relationship together. Though you may have to communicate for the children, you should keep it at that, until things have settled. Otherwise, one of you may start hoping for a reconciliation. So, give yourself some time and then start working toward having a friendship with your ex.

You may be surprised to see how long it takes to get away from your ex fully. You are going to have to work together to get everything divided up and changed into your separate names. This often takes time, and both of you may end up having to sign off on these changes, which can lead to spending some more time together until your divorce is final. 

You may also be surprised to realize that you may lose friends through the divorce. Some people will choose to stay friends with one of you. Others will attempt to stay friends with both of you, and ultimately end up picking one over the other. You may lose some of your couple friends, since you are no longer part of a couple. 

That being said, some of your relationships may become stronger. You are going to have more time to spend with those that you want to. You may even be surprised that your relationship with your ex becomes stronger. You may find yourself spending time with him or her as friends, though it may take a few years before you are able to do so!

Previously published on Medium and/or Newsbreak.