More sugar, please!

The morning routine had transformed into a blessing after 25 years of marriage. The anticipation of everyday acts of kindness remained at the core of their enduring relationship, and even minor changes, such as reducing the sugar in the coffee, could sometimes spark a bit of drama.

Emma slid out of the bed, massaging her shoulders. She had forgotten to close the window, and the chilly air from outside clung to her arms. It was late November, yet she hesitated to shut the window, as if she couldn’t’ bear to bid farewell to the warmth of fall.

As usual, she woke up first, and before engaging her mind in any human- related tasks, she filled the electric kettle with water to brew some coffee.

A few minutes later, the bathroom door slammed shut and she knew her husband was awake. The entire second floor vibrated under his heavy footsteps. She loathed it, but it was the least of her worries. Her spouse had developed serious health issues, and she cared deeply for him. He was her best friend, and no one could love her as he did.

After changing her pajamas, she returned to the kitchen. The two cups of coffee were already prepared, placed on the counter with a smiley face sketched on a piece of tissue, just like every morning during their 25- year marriage! She mused that she could cover every wall in the house with these tissues and still have some left over, and she giggled at this whimsical idea, as she did every morning. Her husband kissed her “good morning”, and they went their separate ways in the house, he in the kitchen chair, and she in the soft recliner in the living room, just as they always did. The next half-hour was marked by complete silence, which both cherished even more; it was a routine they dared not change. This quiet morning time since the beginning of their marriage conveyed everything they wanted to “say” to each other: the warmth of the coffee, the thoughtful drawing that had brought a smile to her face from the start of their relationship, the kiss, and the freedom of her private time were all that Emma desired and needed. And Tom provided it to her with deep love and affection every day. He never believed he could love another woman, and she couldn’t leave him because of it.

The cozy moments of their shared morning were interrupted by a phone call. It was the doctor. Emma sprang up from the recliner and handed her cup to her husband, just as she did when she needed more sugar, which usually brought a little drama. In their perfect marriage, it was impossible for Tom not to sweeten her coffee enough. But this morning, she did not require sugar; she was anxious, awaiting the doctor’s news. Sugaring her coffee became a desperate attempt to find happiness and assurance that everything would be alright. Tom hung up; his face clouded with heavy thoughts. The cancer had spread, and he had only a few months left.

Emma couldn’t bear the devastating news. She emptied the entire sugar bowl into her coffee cup and stifled a cry of despair. Tom embraced her, and they spent the rest of the day cuddled on the couch.

After the funeral, Emma seriously considered decorating the house with tissue bearing smiley faces. More than that, she contemplated transforming them into sad faces because she still couldn’t come to terms with her husband leaving her alone in this world. How could she continue to wake up every morning without having smiley faces drawn on a tissue paper under her coffee cup? That was something she didn’t want to figure out. Instead, every morning since her husband’s passing, she continued to sketch smiley faces on tissue paper- one for herself and one for her husband. She placed them on his grave alongside a cup of coffee, and she did this until she passed away.