Momma Mia

I believe behind every great person is a great woman because we were all born to mothers. And moms seem to have a significant impact on our lives. My mother was my greatest influence, the person who gave me a phenomenal foundation that helped me to find myself and my path in life. Her essential lessons, good nature, and loving soul were a testament to what she learned from her mothers before her. I remember back then we called our mom Ima, Hebrew for mother, which felt more like her own personal imperial title. In my early years she was not as involved in my formation because our father ruled the roost. Our whole existence as a family was about supporting his work and religion, since he was a leader in the Jewish community. Sadly, my dad passed away when I was only 14, which profoundly changed the family structure. Now there was only my mother, my sister Irene (who had returned home a couple of years earlier), and me. And I had just entered those most poignant and formative years- the TEENS! We were all going through dramatic changes, and my mother became the glue that held us together, the steady rock in our unstable lives.

But the unexpected turn of events formed a newfound bond between myself and my mother. Being free of the dogma and commitments of religion, we were permitted to be more true to ourselves. Though, at 14, I was still trying to figure out what that was. Ima didn’t have to worry about my grades or school, that was never a problem. I was one of those brainiac kids- too smart for my own good. Since I was basically a “nice kid” that stayed out of trouble, mom allowed me freedom to delve into the creative universe. What I really loved is that my mother gave me room to explore my fertile imagination. With great enthusiasm, she encouraged me to examine new avenues. When she saw me sit at my grandmother’s parlor grand piano in our living room and teach myself to play, she got me piano lessons to cultivate my raw talent. She even enjoyed my strange “original creations”. Often, she would listen to my meanderings across the keys and applaud the unique musical compositions from my soul. Seeing that I was drawing all the time, she bought me sketchbooks and pencils, and inspired me to try different mediums. As my skills grew, she found a gifted and talented program to help hone and focus my artistic abilities. No matter what I chose, she was always there to cheer me on in my exploration. Since I was considering all kinds of creative outlets, Ima was even open and willing to accept my decision to join the theater department in high school. Because I wanted to do lighting, she supported my choice to continue with theater in college. Despite being non traditional in my study selections, she had no problem trusting me and allowing me to pursue my dreams.

By letting me reach for my stars, she helped encourage my deepest creative talents to blossom and flourish. I still appreciate and remember her approval and acceptance of my artistic inclinations. I never got lectures about getting a real job from my mom, just unending endorsements and blessings. Though I have worked in many innovative areas throughout my career, I always tried to remain true to my imaginative spirit. Even now, as I venture into this new realm of creating word visions, I still feel her support all around me. When I remember her passionate belief in my talents, those memories spur me to advance and excel. You must be your best at whatever you choose to do she always told me.

Another concept I learned from my mom was to always persevere- to keep going despite the adversities life can hand you. When my father passed, she had to reinvent herself by returning to the work force, and raise her daughters alone. Still, she never let the enormity of the situation keep her from moving forward. Somehow she found a way to get back into working after all those years. Even though she worked all day, she still had time to be mom- she provided for me, loved me, and gave me what I needed. We were there for each other and our mutual trust and assistance made us both stronger. While I was in high school, we became more like best friends than just mother and daughter. When I went away to college, her connection kept me going through the hardships of being on my own. She often suggested many memory making exploits to strengthen our relationship. One example was the summer of my sophomore year, when she suggested we come out to California to see my sister Nancy. Little did we realize the amazing and life altering course of events we were about to encounter. After we went home, she wholeheartedly supported my desire to move to Los Angeles. Mom knew I would make the best of whatever this journey had to offer. I graduated college, and had a career being an artist in many mediums from that one leap of faith. My persistence to follow my own path paid off thanks to her guidance.

Her strength and determination became evident after she got breast cancer in the 1980’s. She fought back, not wanting to give in to the disease. Despite a mastectomy and radiation, her attitude never faltered and she beat the odds. This gave her even more reason to want to live life to its fullest. Unfortunately, the cancer returned a few years later. But she still kept an excellent outlook, hoping for the best possible outcome. Sad to say, the most positive of thoughts and intentions do NOT always win, especially against cancer. All her tenacity in the face of adversity was always an inspiration. My life has surely been a roller coaster- a wild ride of ups and downs. Yet, I remember all my mother endured, and her upbeat spirit and energy still inspire me. She has taught me to keep going no matter what, and everything will come out all right. As you are trudging through the darkest times, remember to continue on with hope and positivity and you will prevail.

The most powerful lesson from my mom that I live by every day, is to always be open to new things- new ideas, new paths, new people, and new experiences. I have so many fond memories of shared meaningful moments. One of the first adventures I remember distinctly was when I was 19. My mother was willing to drive down to Spring Break in Daytona Beach with me. Yes- SPRING BREAK- and whose mother WANTS to take you to a beach party? Mine! Even when her car broke down in North Carolina, she never wavered in her belief that all would be fine. She just looked at this as part of our grand adventure. To pass the time while we were waiting, I taught her how to play chess. A negative became a positive in her book. The car got repaired, she learned something new, we had a great time in Daytona, and we made a fantastic memory. As Ima got older, she came out here to the West coast several times. One time in particular, we got her to dress up in costume and go to the Renaissance Faire (where my sister and I both performed). She got to share the experience of the alternate world that we loved and lived while exploring a new venture. The most remarkable memory for me was when we went on a trip to Sedona Arizona. While there, I got her to climb an energy vortex and meditate on the vortex apex- at almost 70! My mom even erected a spiritual rock totem just because she was moved by the ones she saw there. She could feel the energy and respected the earth force around us. Ima was willing to accept other beliefs beyond just the blind faith most religions require you to have. Oy, what a long way that Jewish mother had come. She went from being the good wife to being an open soul- willing to grow and change in many ways.

When I think back on who I am today, my mother’s life lessons constitute much of what is essentially me. My religious upbringing gave me a good moral and spiritual base. But my belief in my creativity, my ability to persist, and the open-minded free spirit I am now were formed by all the wisdom I received from my mother. Never did she try to force me into the stereotype of what women were supposed to be in those days. And I always knew she had my back when I needed support and guidance. That positive ideology still exists within me because of her. She encouraged me to be smart and inventive, and to depend on myself and my talents. And, no matter how down or disheartened I could get, I will always keep going since she taught me to endure. Don’t give up, good things will be ahead- incredible encounters await. Lastly, and most importantly, leave yourself open to what life might have to offer. You never know where your next great, uplifting, eye-opening, life changing experience might be waiting. New, unexpected paths can often lead to the best outcome. So thank you mom for all you gave me and all you taught me. Your love was a radiant light that still shines on me, even though you have been gone almost 30 years. Gone but not forgotten- still living on deep in my heart.