Mom Lessons

My mom was a powerhouse.

Her name was Sharon and even at her tallest of 5’4” she could make her presence known in a room full of people.

She passed away five years ago, but even still her words and ideals ring in my head, and I miss so much the ability to call her for advice.

So here are some great lessons she left behind that I try and instill in my own children:

Be where you said you would be.

The first part of this lesson is that if someone asks you to do something or be somewhere and you commit to it, you have to show up unless truly sick. If we committed to an ongoing organization, then we made all the meetings and events. If we committed to a friend to be someplace, then we had to show up. If we committed to a volunteer project, then we had to fulfill our part in it. And we showed up early to help with set-up. This meant that the people involved could depend on us. If a Woodeshick said they would be there, then those involved knew we would come and participate and contribute. The concept also made sure that we thought before we said, ”Yes,” to something. Double-booking too many events, especially with four kids in the house, was not an option. Nor was getting out of an occasion we didn’t want to do in the first place.

The other aspect of this was a matter of trust for the people who relied on us. If one of us kids said we were going to a certain friend’s house, then my mom and dad would know that we were there. It cut down on worry on their part. It meant that if they needed to reach us for any reason, we were only a phone call away. It also meant that if my mom said she was going to a certain neighbor’s house, we knew we could call if there was an emergency. And this was in the days long before cell phones so knowing where someone was and how to reach that person was all that more important.

Your best is good enough, but you better be doing your best.

Subjects in school came easy to me, but I am a procrastinator at heart. So my mom would look at my work on major projects and writing assignments and if they weren’t up to my ability, then I would have to do them over. In fact, I have tear stains on a project I made in fourth grade because my mom looked at it and told me it had to be done totally over again because it was way substandard for my best. There were spelling mistakes and bad handwriting in pencil. It was a mess. And while I fixed some of it, I can look at it today and shake my head at my own laziness.

And making things happen to the best of my ability didn’t just apply to school. When she taught me to wash dishes she would stand next to me drying them and if there was something that still had food on it she would slip it back into the water for a redo. Cleaning my room meant putting things back into place where they belong, not just shoving them under the bed. Dusting the shelves in the living room meant top down so I didn’t get dust on the lower shelves I already did as I cleaned the upper shelves.

These lessons spilled into the workplace as I grew older. Show up on time and do what I need to do to the best of my ability. It showed my boss I was reliable and didn’t need to be babysat for constantly making mistakes.

And it means taking pride and ownership for what I do. My dad always said, “If you don’t take the time to do something right the first time, then how are you going to find the time to fix it later.” So true and taught to me by both my parents. If I care about the project and do it to the best of my ability the first time, then I can present it with an honest show of honor to whomever receives that blessing. And I will have time to do other things later.

People should always know where they stand with you.

This lesson has so many aspects that all roll into the idea of integrity.

Besides being dependable to be there when she said she would and give her all to a task, when people met my mom, they knew right away where they stood with her. She was honest. She treated everyone the same. And she didn’t pull any punches.

She worked with children through the local school district and other organizations. She praised where praise was due and expected the kids to pull their own weight to the best of their ability. And if you were in trouble with Mrs. Woodeshick, it meant that you really were in trouble - no matter who you were. No one was a favorite or a target no matter how old you were. “Peoples is peoples” to her.

And phrases like “nothing” or the silent treatment or slamming doors when a person was upset was not acceptable. You expressed what was going on in your head because she couldn’t stand random tears. She came from a farming community and there was no time for snivelling. And problems can’t be fixed if she didn’t know what was wrong in the first place. Again, this did not just apply to children.

And she would tell people how she felt about a situation. If there was an issue at work or in an organization she would let people know so they could fix it. At home we kids always knew when she needed something taken care of and when she expressed it, we moved because there would be consequences if we didn’t. My parents never fought in front of us. They discussed things behind closed doors. And my mom never moped about the house in silent anger. This made for a peaceful atmosphere because the air never got stuffy with negative waves.

You are never too old to have a tea party.

My mom’s best friend had children the same age as us, which meant that when we were little the two parents could not just take off and go out for a night. So they would get together at one of the two houses and we would play with her daughters. They would sit and talk for a couple of hours while we entertained ourselves with all the toys available. My mom even had a collection of teapots for any occasion. And except for the weeks my mom was working and then needed to be home for my younger brother after school, the two of them would complete this ritual at least once a week.

She invested time in her friend.

And she did the same for us kids. The pot of water was always on the stove ready to be heated. The tea bags and honey and sugar were always stocked. All we needed to do was take advantage of it.

And the thing about tea parties is that tea doesn’t take a lot to make, but the conversation over a pot of tea can last a long time. There is something relaxing about that steaming mug in front of you. Conversation can flow and deep discussions can be had. The tea party might even lead to a board game or sharing a meal. It opens the hearts to keep people connected without the stress of perfection.

We all at the heart of our humanness want to come to the end of our life and know that we made a difference; a positive reason or two not to be forgotten. At my mom’s funeral the church was full of people from all stations in her life. She left behind four stable children who have been able to weather all kinds of storms and countless people who were honored to call her friend and neighbor. If I can leave half the legacy she did, then I truly have made an impact on the world.