memories of my childhood

The days of being a teenager never seems to leave my mind even as an middle age fifty four year old man.

As I stand here thinking about all the memories of being on holidays, my mind races back to this picture which I still have in my picture album back at home on my author’s office desk.

There were not the worries which I as an adult do face every day. I work two jobs just to be able to pay all of the bills.

Back in those days, I only had imaginary girl friends who were not real. These girls only existed in my imagination which never was very satisfying to me as a person. I remember the very first real girl who I liked from church. Leona never knew anything about me since I only dated her in my mind. I only said “Hello” to her in our church every Sunday.

I remember her tall body with her braces which did set her apart from all the other girls. I made sure that I brushed my teeth, and combed my hair. every Sunday when we as a family went to church.

My younger sister, Deneena thought that she was rather ugly and she never could see why the fuss over an ugly girl like the one who I had a crush on.

My heart sang for joy. when I was assigned to work with her in the annual Christmas play which was held at the Killam Baptist Church.

I remember her very appealing lips as she spoke the lines which she had to since she was playing Mary, the Mother of Jesus. About ninety percent of our relationship happened in my imagination but that did not lessen the experience for me.

At the end of the Christmas program, I wanted to give her as a gift an necklace for Christmas. However, having no money available at my disposal, I settled on a Christmas card and a school picture of myself. I imagined in my imagination, her acceptance of my necklace. She loved it and kissed me on the lips of her acceptance of my very generous gift. In reality, she thanked me for the Christmas card and the picture.

I was thirteen years old and had just joined young peoples. My Mother sent Joy, to Young Peoples to report back to her whether I behaved myself or not. Every time when we would come back home from every event, Joy would give Mother a report of my behaviour. Depending on whether Mother thought my behaviour was acceptable or not was whether I was lectured or praised for my behaviour.

My social skills as a teenager was rather poor since I spent most of my spare time all by myself in my bedroom. I was with all my imaginary friends including the famous “Little Ted” my teddy bear from my first year’s birthday. In my baby book, Mother had written that by age one, I really had taken a like to teddy bears.

My father, years later told me that I often paced like a caged lion. My Father was very observant when it came to people’s behaviours. I remember the times when Father and I watched people in the Camrose mall for an exciting activity as father and son. This event did not cost my father one red dime! He often loved free activities since he liked to save money and not spend it.

My time at these events was very lonely at best since I never did have a lot of real friends. Real as in physical friends.

I told my Mother that I did not have any friends. Mother told me that she never had any friends and she did not think that I did not need any either. Then there times when Mother told me that my friends were all at the Killam Baptist Church. Well all those people were much older than I and all the contact which I had with them was the usual, “Hello. How are you?” Those people were not the kind of friends that I was looking for. I also told my Mother that I at times heard voices in my head. My Mother warmed me to be careful who I told that to.

So, I continued on being friends with my imagination ones keeping to myself in my bedroom at times for hours at a time.

There was this one afternoon when I was playing with my younger sister, Deneena, we noticed a girl who was standing across the street just looking at us. We found out that her name was Stephanie who had just moved in across the street from our house. I was so excited that we would have another person to play with. Well, to make a long story short, Deneena was allowed by Mother to stay over at this girl’s place while I was told that I had to come back to the house. Mother had the idea in her head that boys should never play with girls. I did spend the rest of the day up in my room spending time with my imaginary friends. This really was so disappointing to me as a child because it seemed to me that no one thought it was necessary for me to have real friends but it was top priority for Deneena to have good friends. At supper that night, Mother told Dad the story but my name was not included and it was all about how Deneena found a play mate. This made me feel very angry as a child and so I have never gotten over this ever.

There was this boy named Marvin who later in life, Mother did invite over to play with me. I did appreciate the effort which Mother made to correct what she had done earlier when she did not let me play with Stephanie and Deneena. I was allowed to spend time with this young guy as my play mate. Mother knew that I did not have any close friends who were real which did concern her quite a bit.

The church was a sanctuary for me as a child. Our family was another sanctuary for me and the real world was like a battle field with a lot of enemies who tried to destroy me as a young teenager. I created an imaginary world where I would not be hurt like I was in the real world. Deneena somehow was more successful when it came to having personal friends. Her dating experiences was rather more successful than my dating experiences. Joy who was my older sister seemed to be more successful than myself when it came to the activity of friends and of dating. This was because they were able to get out into the real world to experience true success in that area.

Then I thought that things would change just as soon as I was able to graduate Junior High and move into the high school phase of my life. I used to sit as a teenager listening to Kevin and Peter telling stories of their experiences of attending the central high school here in Sedgewick. One particular story which stands out in my mind was of the English teacher who was allergic to bees. Now, what did those brats do in order to get a free class? They brought in a bee. To make a long story short, they all got to leave class early.

The only excitement which I experienced was when I would watch two of the most popular guy and girl make out in the hallway. He would give her a huge hickey on her neck which to me looked rather painful. Sue another girl came to school pregnant which gave away what activity she liked to do after school. So, none of the excitement happened to me in high school.

Then I got to high school, the very same people told very exciting stories of Bible College. The one story which sticks out in my mind was how this one girl received a underwear pull after she threatened to give him one. I thought that was very interesting. The practical jokes which Kevin pulled off in the girls dorm seemed to be a lot of fun. Now, once again, when I got to Bible College, none of those things were in my experiences.

These were only a few of the experiences which I experienced as a child. The fact that the most exciting ones happened in my imagination in my bedroom than the ones which I experienced in real life might be the reason why I always liked being by myself than experiences which I experienced in real life. Well that was true until my best friend came into my life.

My best friend is my wife and we always have a lot of fun no matter what we do together. She is a very good looking girl who is very sexy in every way which I can imagine. She has attended all of my book readings which I have done at the library. We do Skip the Dishes as a business together. She is so much fun and we do create a lot of drama together depending on how much sleep we have had at that moment. Now, real life is better than what I experienced in my imagination.