Meatloaf is a Liar...

Back in 2009, my daughter was moving out of state and she requested for Christmas that year, that I get her a cookbook, but she wanted a bunch of my recipes in there. I was flattered because, to be honest, my daughter to my recollection never seemed to get excited about my cooking. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I chalked it up to "kids being kids" because I thought I was a pretty decent cook, but you know how as a kid, you want to eat somethin that smells like sodium and grease that you can color on the waxy wrapper or box afterwards.

If I were a new mother now and I didn't jump off the Ben Franklin Bridge to correct that problem, I definitely would buy a shit ton of fast food containers, wrappers, and cups & bags. Then I would cook a full course meal, but serve it to my children in a happy meal box. 🤷🏻‍♀️ FOH.

For people who don't pay not nary a bill, kids are awful freakin picky.

My bad, I went off on a tangent...anywho, back to the cook book. It was actually really fun to make because as this platform may have exposed, I'm kinda verbose, but aye, sometimes one has to be to get the full nuance of a story.

So as I was creating it, I would "talk" to her as if I were in the room as she was cookin.

I can't be anyone else but myself, but from what I was able to discern from our later conversations, she liked that part of the cookbook. That made me happy.

But I'll never forget when she asked me to include my recipe for meatloaf. I damn near threw up in my mouth.

I have hated meatloaf for as long as I can remember. Why? Because meatloaf is a liar.

It's a BAKED HAMBURGER!!!

Not even a fuckin cheeseburger, but the plain ass borin fast food hamburger in the white wrapper with the bunch of little onions on it.

So who decided to add eggs, squirt every old crusty condiment that is in the back of the fridge, wet the ends of stale bread crumble it up and roll it all into a raw meat log, shove it in a pan and BAKE IT?!?!?!?

But wait first wrap it up in raw pork strips and pour BARBEQUE SAUCE ON IT...

THEN BAKE IT.

Confuse me further by serving it with MASHED POTATOES???!!!!

I want fuckin french fries with my cheeseburger, what the fuck is this...LMAO.

The only thing I like about meatloaf is how it smells when it's cooking

My bad y'all, I'm done...I think.

Back to the cookbook, lol, yeah that's what I was "tallem bout", the cookbook my daughter seemed to enjoy.

She was given specific instructions not to give the recipes out to anyone. I told her her hair would fall out if she did. So my first born Aquarian child shaved half her hair off, lol (lil smart ass).

BUT when her younger brother asked for my Macaroni & Cheese recipe for Thanksgiving, it started somethin.

I never thought to make my son a cookbook. I dunno if that makes me a sexist, stereotypical Mom, but I thought his father would teach him how to grill and then his spouse would do everything else.

Okay, yeah, I guess I am a sexist asshole. 😞.

My bad.

Mind you his Thanksgiving Mac & Cheese was a success so as we were discussing, he asked me for some more recipes of mine to gather together.

He wanted a cook book!!!

I got excited!!!

Then I panicked, cuz I have had a brain injury since then, I don't remember how long to cook anything anymore, and I never measure anything, so I hope I can pull this off to have it done by his birthday...

I asked what he wanted to know how to make...this other Aquarian said...

well...you know 🤢