Marriage and Family

Preface

The strongest influence in your life will stem from your family. A family gives more than

a name—it gives identity. Through family relationships, people come to a better

understanding of themselves and learn to interact with others. Whether negative or positive,

their concepts of love and their choices in life are in large part due to the influence of their

families, including the way they handle conflict or develop possible prejudices.

The family is an integral part of society, both shaping and being shaped by it. Every

society develops some kind of family structure, however diverse these structures may be. As

social groups develop culture and social order, they must provide an organized way to

nurture and care for weaker members. They also must learn to interact constructively with

other social groups. In today’s global society, an understanding of different family forms,

such as singleness, interracial marriage, same-sex couples, and other cultural variations, is

crucial to intercultural relations.

Sometimes students enter a marriage

and family course hoping for a “cookbook”

approach—a way to find a secret recipe for

a happy family life. Of course, there is no

secret recipe in Marriage and Family: A

Christian Perspective. We (the authors)

challenge much of the advice given in

popular media outlets, and even in other

secular marriage and family texts, making

this text suitable as an introductory

marriage and family textbook for college

and adult age groups. “If I had only known .

. .” We have often heard our students say

this in our classes over the years. This text

provides students an opportunity to

examine family issues within a Christian

framework, in order to gain the practical

knowledge and tools they will need

throughout life.

Marriage and Family takes a life-cycle

approach similar to Carter and McGoldrick

(2005), which is reflected in the

arrangement of the chapters. The authors

first discuss the science and history of the

American family. Subsequent chapters

consider dating, love, and spouse selection;

the stages in marriage and family life;

cultural variations in family patterns; and

family issues such as finances, careers,

conflict, divorce, and remarriage. While

these topics may be found in other

marriage and family textbooks, what sets

this textbook apart from other texts is its

Christian focus. By integrating biblical

principles into every chapter, Marriage

and Family affirms the Lordship of Jesus

Christ in all family relationships.

What defines a “Christian” family?

How does the American family of the

1800s differ from today’s family? What are

the implications of those differences?

Should a family with young children

operate in the same way as a family with

teenagers? Should an older married couple

expect to relate to one another as they did

when they were newlyweds?

We believe the Bible holds the answers

to these questions, offering sound

guidance on how to build and sustain

godly relationships. Just as we all are God’s

unique creations—individually designed

for God’s purposes— our marriages and

family relationships are also unique. While

your marriage may not look like your

parents’, we believe that certain broad

Christian principles should be part of

every marriage:

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Marriage and Family

1. Love: This text discusses the different

types of love and how these types

relate to mate selection. The authors

offer guidelines for involving God in

relationship decisions by showing

which kind of love is most closely

aligned with the love Christ modeled.

2. Covenant: This is what distinguishes

marriage from other relationships. In

discussing mate selection, Marriage

and Family explores Christian ideals

of covenant, taking as its model the

covenant relationship between God

and His people. In later chapters, the

text discusses ways in which this

covenant is tested and deepened. The

text also examines why some couples

decide to dissolve their marriages.