Making memories

Let me start by saying that my father is terminally ill and in the end stage of kidney failure. We have gone through all of the tests and are pending acceptance on the transplant list. However, the current wait time for a kidney is about 3-8 years and my dad has been told that he can live about 2 years on dialysis. That will help you to better understand why I’ve chosen to do the craft in which I will be referring to in this story. I am an only child and even though I am now 37 years old, I am still my father’s only “child”. My dad was sure that my mom was carrying a boy and my dad dreamed of the coaching football games, playing baseball in the yard and all the things he could do with his son. The minute I was born, he became a girl dad and wouldn’t have it any other way. We have traveled together, shopped together, and he has protected his little girl from the moment he saw me for the first time.

I live 94 miles away from my father and I visit anytime I can and I have been there for every treatment, doctors appointment and the never ending bad news we’ve received, we have received it together. My dad is all alone and is unable to drive, so I am there quite often to spend time with him. Every time I get back home and feel that sinking, sad feeling of being away from him, I inevitably hear the ding of my cellphone and there’s a text message from my dad saying something to the effect of “you made that appointment so much easier just by being here my sweet angel. I love you so.” Every single time I get such a message, I screenshot it and then I print it as a photograph. I then cut and crop the photo so my father’s beautiful words are the center of the glossy picture. Once I have several, I decoupage them onto a memory box that I’ve cut a slot on the top of for written memories that I have with him. I created these memory boxes for several family members over the last couple years and some friends as well for their own family memories and pictures. Every single picture that I cut and the words that are from him are something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. My dad has no idea that I am doing this project nor any idea that I save every beautiful message that he sends me. When we are able to find a donor and he is ready to undergo a transplant, I will show him my projects and just make sure that he understands that every word he says to me matters and goes straight to my heart. This is a craft that I used to do with pictures of designer bags and flowers and wine glasses and all the things that I thought would maybe make me happy. However, along the way, I learned what actually makes me happy and that is knowing that until my last day here on earth, I will be able to look at these boxes and see the beautiful words that my dad said to me and when I can no longer look at my dad’s sweet face or my phone and see his messages, though I won’t have my father forever, his words will live on and I will have these forever. I have done a lot of crafts and a lot of art, but this single project will be the most meaningful thing I have ever made.