Ma, I Moved

So, starting this platform, I was angry, lost, and had so much pent up emotion, without any organization or thought really put into it, honestly. I tried to convince the blog company to delete it out of embarrassment, and fear. You know that feeling when you just wake up one day like oh shit I've evolved. I'm no longer in the same space as I was before. I need to clip these toenails that I've outgrown.Lol! My damn garbage piled up again, fuck, lemme take it out now! I know every species sheds old skin and develops a new and improved version. So what is it exactly that has me regretting a past experience? I'm glad you asked. So here's an update on life.

Society is pretty much recovering from being held upside down and bent all out of shape due to Corona. It‘s almost 6 years ago the pandemic happened. So throughout this frenzy, I've been doing some essential work; on my family mostly. We weren't in the best space due to social distancing and I'm busy preserving all the things I truly love about myself, so detonating land mines, you see weren't quite on the top priority. Family for me as well as for many is so tricky because that is where values have been rooted. Everything or most things you believe in and overall trajectory is based on your upbringing . Besides, I truly miss them, well some of them like favorite cousins, and nibbling, and my sister (who is my best friend, first love and forever ting ya zimme'). But in order to see them, I have to get past the parentals, nosy Uncles, and their obnoxious side pieces and wives etc. So I say fuck it and avoid them all together. Focus on work and passion and let the Universe align the stars how they may Which also translates to I may not see them again until it’s somebodies funeral I guess.

How has that been working out for me you ask?

Its been terrible, fucking shit show. Although, I do the occassional check -in on my grandma and the once in a blue groceries haul for mama duke just so they know I'm alive. Still, something feels amiss. But nothing to do with them, and all the more to do withOUT them. I heal and feel my best when I'm around my favs ( mentioned previously), but I know myself, ma-Now I'm talking to my mother- and I need something new, thrilling, exciting. A change of scenery maybe? I don't know yet, but the familiar is this safety net where I've been way too comfortable. I was listening to one of my favorite podcast by ModDaGod via Youtube and he said something on comfort zones that really stuck out to me. He said "you can be comfortable but that pressure you apply is for a reason". Actually, just call me a crockpot , cuz' we're about to apply hella' pressure. But no, seriously being stagnant makes me itch. Is their a phobia for being stuck in one place? Cuz I have a serious case. Nowadays I’m only interesting in ”communicating, healing and growing”with the ones I love, as Angela White said.

Before you say, I need to therapy or to be institutionalized, or "get my act together". Just hear me out ma, how does a cross country trip sound? just you and me. We can travel like the old days when I was your broke best friend.