Love Letters from Heather

To my sister-in-law, Sandra.

As long as I can remember, you have always been there. I think having a brother 14 years my senior makes such a feat possible.

Lucky for me, I have always really liked you, even when I was young. Imagine being in a family where you might not like your sister-in-law? You were kind, smart, pretty. You and Dave taught me how to skate, took me on camping trips, allowed me to accompany you on dates to A&W.

One specific memory I have has to do with a book called Little Sister that you started to read to me when I was probably six or seven. It was a short chapter book, appropriate for kids my age. Here is the kicker. You only read the first chapter aloud to me. Then you told me if I wanted to know what happened next, I would have to read the rest of the book (wait for it)…MYSELF!

In my mind, this was an utter travesty. How dare you? But I was also very intrigued by the story and wanted to know what happened next. So, as you knew it would, my curiosity kicked in, and I read my first chapter book. Thank you for this gift. I have loved reading ever since.

I think your love of books has surpassed mine, though. You snaked your way through careers, ending up as you always should have as a school librarian, doing as an adult what you did as a teenager: sharing your passion for books. I am in awe of how much you read even now. I remember two summers ago, in Newfoundland, when you explained how you read e-books each morning on your phone and how you kept notes in Google Drive.

While packing recently, I found an old journal that you gave me, probably for high school graduation. You told me to write! You are so good at noticing people’s gifts and passions and encouraging them—thank you!

When I was 12, my grandpa died. This was the first funeral I had ever attended. I remember the electric shock that radiated through my young body when I saw the open casket. The whole moment felt surreal and for a split second I dissociated. You saw me. (That is your superpower by the way. You see people, whatever their circumstances or need.) And you put your arms around me and hugged me when no one else noticed.

I take a lot of comfort knowing that you live close to my parents. You have embraced them whole-heartedly. Whether it be picking up groceries during lockdown or popping in to say hello to them, I am glad you are there.

I love your mission, your dedication to downtown Oshawa, be it the community garden or lockers for the homeless, your involvement in these types of projects amaze me!

And your support of my projects has not gone unnoticed. Whether it was driving upteen kilometres to see a concert or attend a gala I was involved in organizing, you have been there. Have I ever mentioned how much I appreciate that?

You faced a lot of loss throughout your lifetime. You were and still are a “doer,” a seeker of solutions. I imagine it must be difficult for you to listen to people who just need to vent without wanting to jump in with a practical solution! You are direct, hard-working, realistic, and compassionate. You are an incredible mom, grandmother, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, friend…human.

I love and admire you. I am so lucky you chose my brother Dave.

Thank you!

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Heather

PS. Your grandkid stories and funny texts are the best!