Lost In The Right Direction

With a little adult magic from Mom and Funk, here comes baby JD! A bundle of joy and why not? Who doesn't love a brand new baby with a big smile. Mom was always the best. Did everything to show us equal amounts of love and attention. While I make that statement, in the same breath I would probably have to let you all know that once I entered the world I was and still remain the favorite. Parents do not like to admit that but there is always one. If you're reading this and nodding your head yes it's either you've come to terms it is not YOU or it is YOU and my friend, welcome to the club!

Occupied with the new born in the house I had a very small range of added freedom. This now included the school yard access across the street. This was none other than Richmond Hill High school schoolyard. It is at 5 years old I now fall in love for the first time. HUGE life changing moment! I don't think anyone would realize until later how much I would be consumed by this love. I found basketball y’all. Or it found me. Either way we had each other. I cannot explain the connection that happened once I shot my first hoop. Very short (my whole life) I knew I would have to work 100 times harder especially because there were only boys around. WNBA was not anywhere in the works yet. So at this point my dream was to be the FIRST female basketball player in the NBA.

I'm 5 so I was also living the responsible life. At five they do not give us enough credit! I was a FULL TIME STUDENT! Kindergarten was awesome. Had two best friends Robby and Michael as well as the best teacher Mrs. Silver. I remember the worry free days of making butter in class and pasta necklaces. The annual Halloween parades and Christmas shows. Going to the Block Association after school waiting for the parentals to get home. This was P.S 90 and I spent 2 years here the first of three elementary schools. In between times such as holidays or summer vacations I had a babysitter. Often times she would take me with her to pick up some stuff. This “stuff” came in little green baggies. I would later figure out that it was weed, marijuana, bud or whatever else you want to call it. This was however a part of the daily routine. Pretty sure Mom had no idea that she wasn’t babysitter of the year. This though made it possible for mom to work and when mom works we eat!

I always dressed a little awkward. I was still finding who I was. Loved colors that popped out! If I liked the outfit then you can betcha it was worn as many days as I could before it hit the hamper. I even went through a Michael Jackson phase. Mom let me wear high water black slacks with penny loafers and some white glove EVERYDAY! The good times for sure. I will still have an awkward but progressive change in clothing much further in life.

Studies show that at least 15% of children at the age of five wet the bed. Yup lucky me in that 15%. Oddly enough I never saw what was coming as a result. The first time it happened it was a clean-up and a move on. Mom told me no big deal, put me in the shower and the day went on. Then some next few times after this it began to extremely upset Funk. So much that for the first time I would experience receiving what a lot of you may refer to as “discipline” THE BELT a.k.a an ASS WHOOPIN. So confused as to why I would get in trouble for what I couldn’t control this was the beginning of my toughening up. My mom began to wake me up in the middle of the night every night to use the bathroom because she herself could not save me from Funk and his craziness. This started to turn into progressive discipline….sometimes I think for his own pleasure. If my mom interfered she now became a target. Most times it would happen in her absence. From kneeling on rice to being whipped in the back with the long side of a hanger while hands up facing the corner. One time for giving the kid sister a bath and the water being a little too hot. What my mom didn’t know didn’t hurt her. So when I hear stories from the people I know saying they endured beatings as a child, I only think of my mom. My initial response is always "I never got hit". This is because mom was always a safe space and warm spot in my heart and my mind. It's possible that often times I would forget those times ever existed.

I think from when I was in the womb I had this immediate connection with my mother. Hard to explain but at a very young age I knew I was her protector as much as she was mine. So at 5ish going on 6 I had to learn to be tough in my own home. This may have come as a shock only because I always had a smile and always found something to be happy about. Growing up started to pick up its pace from here.