Little Black Sheep

Growing up I was always referred to as the 'black sheep' of my family. My mother would always say "you are your fathers' child" because I was always getting into trouble at school. I was the fourth daughter in a family of five daughters, my sisters all looked like my mum, pretty and petite. I, on the other hand had inherited my dads' tall, lanky frame, bushy eyebrows and thick curly black hair. He wasn't ugly but still, I was a girl and didn't have my mums' pretty attributes.

My mum would never listen to me as I would try to pled my case about why I got into trouble. Even the principal didn't have a heart, only the students' knew the truth but it was always easier to let me take the hit and fall for their dramas. For as long as I could remember I always liked helping people, it came naturally to me. See someone in trouble? Go and help them out. It was usually another student being bullied in the playground, I was a fighter but not the kind that looked for trouble. I was the kind that would stick up for the victim by pulping the bully and end up in the principals office writing 500 word essays on why I shouldn't use violence. I could never win.

Once I turned 18 my mum said I needed to move out and stand on my own two feet. I didn't understand as she never told my older sisters who were still living at home that they had to leave. I remember her handing me $200 and a little black book with incomprehensible writing that I couldn't read.

"Off you go and live your life, your Dad sends his love and we love you too" then she closed the door.

Have you ever bawled your eyes out until you can't see? Your heart feels like someone just bruised the life out of it? Well that's how I felt when my mum shut the door on me that day. My little sister was only 6 years old, her tears matched mine at the window and she screamed her heart out when our second eldest sister pulled her away. All I had was my suitcase full of clothes, a few photos, $200 and a stink black book that I couldn't read.

I had been wondering around our town for a few hours when I walked past a medical center, outside a lady was crying. I didn't want anyone to see that I too had been crying, so I pulled my hoodie over my head and approached her. "I'm sorry I can't help you, not right now" she said to me as I sat down by her.

"Ma'am what is wrong? I have some money if you need money, may I buy you a cup of coffee from the cafe across the road?"

She didn't look up but I could feel her gratitude as replied: "Oh sweetheart, there is no need for either. Right now money can't even save my son who will die if we don't find a kidney donor as soon as possible. We have travelled all the way from England to Australia because the surgeons were certain they found a donor, but my sons' body rejected the kidney. I don't what I will do, he is only 7 years old and he is all I have left. This center is our last hope"

I thought of my own little sister crying at the window and my heart broke thinking about how I would feel if it was her inside the medical center right now. I grabbed the weeping woman's hand and held it in mine until a nurse came out and summoned her back inside. As I watched her walk away I knew what I had to do besides, as much as I wouldn't want to be paid? She had mentioned that she would pay $10,000 to any suitable donor. I could do with a head start after getting kicked out.

"I would like to sign up as a kidney donor please" after filling out the forms and doing some tests I was advised that I would be contacted if I was found to be a suitable donor for anyone.

I had walked about 10kms before seeing a Backpackers Lodge sign at the end of the main road, it looked terrible but at $35 per night I needed somewhere to sleep and shower before figuring out what I would do with the rest of my life. As I reached the building a siren sounded followed by red and blue lights, an officer jumped out of the car in front of me and walked in my direction. My first thought was 'I really am a black sheep that attracts trouble wherever she goes'.

"Excuse me are you Kara Ellis?" the officer asked

"Yes, but I haven't done anything wrong officer. I promise, I haven't done anything wrong" I replied.

"No, no you are not in trouble. Macquarie Street Medical Center dispatched an urgent callout for you. You signed up as a donor and they need you urgently"

Everything looked so blurry, where was I? Looking around the room I saw flowers with a big Thank You balloon and a teddy bear. There was another bed beside me and a little kid was giggling as he watched the Wiggles, on the other side was the woman who had been crying outside the clinic. She looked up and jumped off the bed to run to my bedside.

"Kara my love, how are you? You've been asleep for two days and you saved my sons' life. Your brothers life. Thank you"

"Sorry whose life did I save?" my mouth was parched and I was sure there was something wrong with my brains and ears.

She lifted up the black book my mum gave me when she kicked me out. "This book, I gave to your Dad when I went back to England after you were born, you see, one of my kidney's had failed and I had to go back home to find my donor. This book was my story to you, I am your Mother. You will be taken care of my love, I found your Dad and he told me what happened to you when he was at work. This was the last place he thought you would be at. You are your Dad's child, it was his kind heart that made me fall in love with him even though he was older than me. I couldn't take you with me and begged his wife to raise you as her own child. I am so sorry that I didn't come back for you, you were all that your Dad had left of me and your beautiful soul was our unknown last hope for your little brother James. You are an earth angel my love, thank you for your gift. My heart is complete now that I have found you" with that she wrapped me in a hug, a hug that my soul had yearned for all my life.