Lilly's Blessings

‘It’s time you know truth. We’ll be here when you’re ready.’

Lilly Brennan read the simple note scrawled on plain but elegant stationary, puzzled. Reaching in the padded manilla envelope, she pulled out a medium-sized leather black book covered in various bright stickers. Intrigued, she opened the well-worn cover to see the name Victoria “Tori” Fleming and the date 2002 inscribed on the first page. Who was Tori Fleming and what did she have to do with Lilly? There was no name or return address on the envelope that was mailed to her dorm at the University of Texas at Dallas.

Settling onto her bed, Lilly flipped through the pages. Apparently, the book was Victoria’s journal slash memory book. Journal entries were highlighted with doodles, ticket stubs, magazine cutouts, flowers and personal pictures. Not wanting to tear the pages she lifted the book for a closer look at one photo. Lifting the book, a small photo fell into her lap.

Lilly picked up the picture, and shock slammed into her stealing her breath. It was her. A hospital picture of her as a newborn, red faced and alien looking, with a small pink bow stuck on her head and her hands tucked under her chin as if in prayer. This same photo was in her baby book at home. On the back was the name Samantha and her birthdate, 6/13/2002.

Her mind reeling, she continued to look through the journal and discovered a copy of a Florida birth certificate wedged between the pages. The birth certificate listed Samantha Fleming as the baby’s name with Victoria Fleming as the mother and Shane Bennett the father.

Lilly read the journal entry dated June 14th, 2002.

“Oh God, it’s so hard. I know this is the best decision, but I didn’t want to let her go. I got to hold her and kiss her sweet, little face before they took her away. She even smiled at me. The Brennans are good people and my little girl will have a good life. I LOVE YOU SAMANTHA FOREVER AND ALWAYS.”

She was adopted. The words reverberated through her. Lilly didn’t know how long she sat there but the room was growing dark when her roommate came in, startling her out of her paralyzed stupor. Chi Chi was headed to the commons for pizza and to watch their favorite show, but Lilly begged off saying she was having dinner with her parents. Gently placing the certificate and photo back in the journal, she put it into her backpack and headed for her parent’s house.

On the short drive the words ‘they lied’ drummed through her brain in a heavy staccato. Hurt razored through her when she thought of all the times her aunts and uncles would exclaim how much she looked like her father. They were part of the lie too. Did her brother know? Was he adopted? Her thoughts chaotic, she tried to stay focused on the road. Did she look like her mother? Maybe she took after her father? She’d been too shattered at the bombshell information to check out any of the pictures in the journal.

Finally, she arrived at her parents and with a deep breath; she let herself in the house.

“Mom! Dad!” she called out.

They both answered from different parts of the house.

“Can you come in the living room? I need to talk to you both.”

Soon they were all seated, and she took a moment to look at the two people who she loved more than life. Lilly felt like she was seeing them for the very first time.

“Lilly, honey, what’s wrong? You look upset,” her dad asked, leaning forward to touch her hand.

“What is it? Has something happened at school?” her mom asked.

Clearing her throat, she asked huskily, “Why didn’t you tell me I was adopted?”

Both of her parents went pale as her mother gasped aloud. Her father withdrew his hand and sat back, his beautiful blue eyes wide with shock.

“H… h..how did you find out?” he stammered.

Until that moment she realized that she desperately wanted it to be untrue. That her entire life hadn’t been a lie. Hot tears welled up, and she battled them back. Now was not the time. She would break down later.

She pulled out the journal and showed them the birth certificate and baby picture.

Her mother grasped her father’s hand and over the next hour they told her how they’d suffered three miscarriages and just when they’d just about given up hope a woman in their church told them of a family friend who's teenage daughter was giving her baby up for adoption. The woman put them in contact with the Flemings and soon they were sitting in their living room being interviewed.

“I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up on their beautiful antique Persian rug,” she told Lilly with a watery smile.

Two weeks later, they got the news that their prayers had been answered. Her dad told her they were elated but cautious, knowing it could all change once she was born.

“We were in the room with her when you were born. I cut the cord,” her father said proudly. “You were ours and whether we shared blood or DNA didn’t matter to me.”

Her brother was their biological miracle born eleven months later, just after they’d moved to Dallas Texas.

“Does Luke know?” she asked.

Her mom shook her head. “No honey, he doesn’t. Your aunts and uncles know, of course, but your cousins don’t.”

“It must have been very difficult to keep such a big secret all these years,” she observed bitterly.

Her mother moved from the couch and sat on the arm of the recliner she was occupying.

“No, it wasn’t because I never thought of you as adopted. After that first year, when your mother could’ve changed her mind and took you back, I never gave her a second thought. You were mine.” Her mom was stroking her hair like she always did when Lilly was sick or upset. The familiar touch brought a sting of tears to her eyes and suddenly it was too much.

“I’ve got to go.” She stood up abruptly, feeling claustrophobic. “I need some space so please give me a few days to work this all out in my head.”

She didn’t give them a chance to say anything but flew out of the house. As she backed out of the driveway, the sight of her father on the porch his face creased with worry, almost had her changing her mind, but she continued on needing to wrap her brain around this new reality.

Several miles down the road, she pulled over to the shoulder curiosity overwhelming her as she searched the pictures in the journal to see what her mother looked like.

She had her mother’s deep set green eyes and generous mouth. Tracing a finger over one of the pictures, she was pleased to discover they shared the same lopsided smile.

That night she spent the evening pouring over the journal, wanting to know more about the woman who gave her life. Curiously, there was only a brief mention of Shane Bennett, her biological father, and nothing was written after her birth.

Unable to concentrate she struggled to get through the next few days. Did she want to meet her biological parents? She knew her biological mom had wanted her, but what about her dad? Did he even know she'd been born? If she decided to seek them out, what impact would the results of a teenage mistake have on their current families? The questions ricocheted through her brain needling her already frayed nerves.

Despite still having some issues on how they handled the situation, she found herself sitting at her parent’s kitchen table seeking their advice. They were supportive of her quest to meet her parents but cautioned her that it may not go the way she hoped. It was a delicate situation and there was more than herself at stake.

Armed with their unwavering love and counsel, Lilly began investigating and almost immediately located her father. A successful real estate agent in the Daytona Beach area, his social media was extensive. Lilly enlarged his profile photo searching for herself in his lean patrician features. She'd inherited his thick dark blond hair and height, but more subtly was the angle of her jawline and flare of her nose. She scoured through his pictures and discovered he was married with three children. She had siblings.

Doubt assailed her as she composed her email, but she forged ahead knowing she would regret not taking this opportunity. Rereading it for the third time, she blew out a deep breath.

“Please don’t let him be a jerk,” she prayed and hit the send button.

The search for her mother was a short one and came to an abrupt halt as she stared at the obituary notice from a Savannah Georgia newspaper.

Victoria Fleming Holliwell died two and a half years earlier from a long fight with metastatic breast cancer. Looking at the picture of the lovely woman with the bright eyes and off-center smile, Lilly felt a curious grief settle over her, feeling as if she’d missed out on something wonderful.

She composed herself and renewed her search eager to know more about the woman her mother had become. Once again social media proved to be a valuable tool and she found her mother’s family. After hours combing through posts and photos, she finally got the nerve to send out a message to her biological grandmother, whom she suspected was the sender of the journal and introduce herself.

Immediately she received a reply.

“I’m so happy to hear from you! We’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.”

Lilly was stunned. Her grandparents, Amanda and Stephen, quickly set up a video call and before she had time to process everything they were face to face.

Her grandmother teared up. “You look so much like my Tori. I know she would be proud of the woman you’re becoming.”

They spent the next few hours talking non-stop. They told her of her mother’s hope that someday she would come looking for her and that despite making the right choice giving her up for adoption, she never stopped loving her.

Over the next few days, she was inundated with calls, messages and emails from eager family members. She spent hours on video calls getting to know her two younger sisters, Hayley and Morgan. At the end of one call, their father asked to speak to her privately.

“Sam...Lilly, sorry. All these years you’ve been Samantha to us. Lilly, your mom loved you very much. She often talked about you and wondered how you were doing and if you’d had a good life. She prepared for the day that you would come looking for her and set aside some money for you. It’s not much, just twenty thousand dollars, but it was her way of providing for you. She thought it could help pay for college or maybe help you buy your first house.”

Lilly reeled in shock but before she could respond David Holliwell continued, “I can see that the Brennan’s have raised a wonderful young woman and I’m happy my girls have a big sister to look up to. Come visit us soon and we’ll show you the splendor of Savannah.”

Stammering a thank you she logged off the call exhilarated and overwhelmed. She’d been raised by wonderful parents and now she had bonus family that seemed to be genuinely good people. Lilly didn’t take for granted the blessing she’d been given.

Two hours later her phone pinged an email alert.

“Hello Lilly. I don’t know how to be the father of a nineteen-year-old college student, but I’d certainly like to try…”