Letting Go

Letting Go

Lila sat in the fading light of the day, gazing out of the window as her thoughts swirled in quiet storm. The sun's last gasp for the afternoon sent a low glow creeping into every recess but not that warmth could invade her heart. She had spent months holding onto a relationship in which she felt she didn't exist, wasn't needed. Every time she reached out to Ethan, it felt as if her words simply fell into some endless void. He never really listened, never really looked at her.

Once they were close, or at least she believed that. Now it felt as if she was hanging onto fragments of something that had already slipped through her fingers. Ethan was always too busy, too distracted, and too cold. Every time she tried to express her feelings, he would brush those off too with a careless shrug and a phrase that suggested, "You're overthinking it." And every time he brushed her off, little by little, a small piece of her heart broke a little more.

One evening, after yet another cold, emotionless conversation, Lila was alone on the couch with a chest that weighed itself down with that dawning realization she'd been trying to avoid: You cannot make someone care, and you cannot make someone loyal if they don't want to be. She'd been holding onto a version of Ethan that no longer existed, chasing the ghost of a connection that was long gone.

She felt her phone buzzing. It was a text from best friend Sarah. "How much longer are you gonna let this break you, Lila? Sometimes, it's smarter to let go than hold on to someone who just doesn't get you.".

Lila read the words, their truth settling deep into her very being. Your absence will teach him what your presence could not, she thought. She had spent so much time trying to prove to him how much she was worth, hoping he'd finally get it, but the truth lay plainly before her: if he didn't value her now, he never would.

Lila knew it wasn't easy to walk away from someone you once loved, but staying in a relationship where she felt not important was worse. Some things were only meant to be temporary in one's life, and Ethan was one of those things, she kept reminding herself.

She took a final deep breath before she turned her phone on to type the message to Ethan: "I deserve to be with somebody who sees, values, and respects me. I just can't keep breaking my heart over this. Goodbye, Ethan."

She pressed send and then turned off her phone. No more second-guessing; no more waiting for him.

There is a silence that descends after this, and Lila feels the burden of sorrow but somehow also relief. She has been holding onto a love that isn't real anymore, holding on to not something better, actually to not her own peace - in letting go of it all, she's making space for something that could very well be just her own peace.

The days passed, and Lila began to put herself back together. She spent time with friends, started older hobbies, and reminded herself each day of her mantras: It's better to be alone than to force a relationship. Slowly the ache within her heart began to subside and quiet strength began to surface there in place.

Lila realized that love is never something that brings smallness into a human being. A human being is supposed to be brought out and magnified by love, never small or unheard or unimportant. "Love is a give-and-take of two people," she thought again as she sat there. Be careful with love and never lose yourself in trying to grab onto it.

Months later, in a chance meeting, she ran into Ethan. He smiled and asked how life had been. But Lila, being the stronger, wiser person, looked at him differently now. She realized now that the person she so desperately wanted was someone she'd have been better off letting go of. She thought as she smiled and waved goodbye that if they see you as an option, they do not deserve to be a priority.

And for the first time in a long time, Lila felt peaceful. She had learned the most valuable lesson of all: Never chase someone who isn't chasing you.