Lessons of Life and Love

Laura sat by her grandmother's bedside, trying her best to be strong. Heavy rain hissed at the windowpane, almost drowning out the sounds of the hospital machines that surrounded the room. Laura kept her focus on her Grandma who was breathing faintly and raggedly through her oxygen mask. Her Grandma Abigail, so strong and fierce throughout her life now looked incredibly, miserably frail.

It was too much to bear.

Hot tears fell down Laura's face, following tracks where previous tears had shed many times that morning.

The doctor had solemnly advised Laurie and her mother that "It won't be long now" and to say their goodbyes.

Laurie gasped, inconsolable, how on earth was she supposed to say goodbye? What words could she say to match up to how much she loved her Grandmother, or how much she was going to miss her?

Laura's mum had already said her goodbyes and was now hugging her daughter, rubbing her shoulder softly.

A familiar hand found its way over her own.

Her Grandma Abigail squeezed her hand gently, her bright green eyes communicating love and reassurance.

Laura found sudden strength and found her voice slip past the sore lump in her throat.

"I love you Grandma Abby. So much. I don't... I don't want you to go. But I know that's out of my hands. Thank you for everything. For teaching me what it is to be a strong woman. For guiding me to be proud and to be confident of who I am. I'm going to make you proud Grandma and try to be half the woman you are. I love you so, so much."

Laura smiled through the tears and hugged her Grandma, gently kissing her on her forehead before returning to her seat.

Her grandma motioned weakly to her mother and her mother went over to the bedside. Her grandma withdrew a little black book that was faded and bent with age and patted it. A glossy black ribbon tied it together.

Her mother smiled, crying as she undid the ribbon and read the first page of the book. She then nodded and kissed her Grandma's hand and simply said,

"Okay mum, I promise."

Laura could hear her Grandma sigh and then she faintly spoke to them both,

"I love you..." before her eyes closed gently.

It wasn't long after that she passed.

***

The funeral was held the following week. The sky was a brilliant blue and the sunshine was warm and inviting-an open contrast to the grief and hardship Laura experienced that day.

Her Grandma was buried in an empty casket filled with her favourite flowers-Morning Irises. Her family and friends were all invited to wear something blue: Abigail's favourite colour. It was a testament to how loved and popular Abigail was to see so many people to pay their respects. In some small way it helped Laura to know others shared her sorrow.

Around Laura and her mother's necks were two golden necklaces whose pendants held a small vial of Abigail's ashes. The rest of the ashes were kept in a silver urn that would take pride of place on the mantelpiece at home.

After the wake Laura and her mother drove home in silence, not knowing what to say.

Laura found she was rubbing her pendant between her thumb and forefinger, finding comfort in that she was close to her Grandma even now.

Whilst her mum carefully cradled the urn, Laura carried the flowers and the eulogy in to their home.

Laura gave her mum a strong hug and said she was going to lie down. In reality Laura collapsed on her bed with more tears cascading on to her bed covers. Laura felt physically wounded, her heart literally broken by loss that everything seemed to hurt. Laura cried into her pillow, finding the pain and grief were coming in waves. All the while she held on to her necklace like a lifeline.

A knock at the door came minutes later.

Through blurry, stinging eyes, Laura saw her mother come in with the same little black book from the hospital.

Laura could tell her mother was struggling to get the words out.

"Honey, your Grandma made me promise to give this to you after she passed away. It's something for you to remember her by."

Laura sat up and wiped away the tears with tissues as her mum sat on her bed and handed her the black book.

Opening it carefully, Laura found the front page was written in her Grandma's beautiful cursive.

My darling Laura,

I know these last few months have been hard on you. I know we planned to do so much together but after my diagnosis I just don't know if it's possible.

We planned to go to Santorini one day and holiday in Greece. We planned to do an African safari and to bungee jump in New Zealand. I planned to be there for your future wedding and for when you have children of your own and maybe if I was lucky live past one hundred. Life, it seems, has its own plans. Laura, you know me and you know I'll fight this cancer with everything I've got. I'm fighting to live. But just in case this fight is one I can't win I want you to know this: I have lived a great life. You and your mother are the best things to ever happen to me. And I am so proud of you. The world is truly your oyster Laura Lou so go out and seize life and live it to the fullest! I'm writing this as I am about to start my next round of chemo and it's getting me through the treatments and the sickness. I bought this black book the day you were born. And I've put photos and mementos throughout it, smiling like an idiot as I do so. I've also left you a gift, that will help with Santorini, or Africa, or New Zealand. The choice is yours darling.

I love you Laura Lou and I'll always be with you,

Grandma Abby.

Laura took a moment after reading, the seemingly endless flow of tears starting again.

Laura took another deep breath and reopened the book to find old photos of her as a baby, as a toddler and as a kid alongside her mum and grandmother. She found old artworks and letters she had done as a child that her Grandma had proudly kept. And on every single page there was several fifty and hundred dollar notes stuck to the page.

Laura looked in shock at her mum who just beamed.

"Your Grandma has been saving what she could since the day you were born. Whenever she could she added money to the book. And like she said you can spend it on the travels you talked with her about. It's up to you."

Laura was still shocked as she counted the stack of money her Grandma had lovingly saved.

"Mum, there's at least twenty thousand here."

"Enough for you to go to Santorini, Africa and New Zealand I'd say."

Laura hugged her mum crying and laughing at the same time. It was just like her Grandma Abby to think of her family so selflessly, even when she was terminally ill.

***

Two weeks later found Laura in the village of Firostefani, Santorini. The beautiful white washed walls and renowned blue cupola were overlooking the dazzling Aegean Sea. It was far more breathtaking than Laura could have hoped for.

Clutching at her necklace fondly, Laura smiled and took in the blissful surroundings and sunshine.

"Well Grandma Abby, we made it."