Lessons in Humanity

My mother, by no means, fits into the stereotype of the “boss mom”. She struggled with her anger, was not affectionate and at times was abusive. So when I saw this prompt, I initially scoffed and kept scrolling. The problem is that I could not get this prompt out of my head! I started to reflect on our relationship and really consider a lesson that she put years of effort into teaching me. I found that this is a lesson that has shaped me greatly.

One late night when I was about nine or ten years old, I got up and went into the kitchen to get a cup of water. My mom was on the couch watching... something. I could not understand what was being said, I just saw what looked like an army, some horses and men screaming at each other. On my way back to bed my mother stopped me and asked if I would like to watch with her. I said yes and sat in my favorite spot on the living room floor. I later learned that what we were watching was a Korean Drama called “Emperor Taejo Wang Gun” (my favorite one to date I might add). That night, I believe, was when my mother started to teach me about other cultures outside of the black experience here in america.

One instance I clearly remember is when she would sit my brother and I down on Sunday mornings and turn on another channel. This one showed primarily Bollywood movies. I remember being amazed by their dancing and the music. I loved how beautifully everyone was dressed. My brother attempted to mock the singing and my mother muted the television. This proceeded to be the first of many talks about how to treat other people from other countries. That we are to respect others, not mock them. She unmuted the television and we proceeded to watch this amazing story dance out before our eyes.

Another time I remember was when we had come home from grocery shopping. I was putting away the food we had gotten when she turned on the strangest music I had heard. “WHAT IS THIS?” I remember saying with a tinge of disgust and confusion in the tone of my voice. Suddenly, the music stopped and she answered “Celtic music”. How I remember that lecture as well. She explained how important it was to give traditions, rituals and the customs of others we are not familiar with a chance before judging. After that lecture, She unmuted the television and the sounds of Ireland engulfed my home again. We finished putting food away, did our chores and went to bed as bagpipes among many other sounds and vocalizations swam through our home. This happened countless times from my early childhood through adulthood. As I got older the less I protested and the more I learned about humans that lived beyond my borders and those that lived down the street from me. I did not care about things like having to read subtitles because I wanted to know the story. I grew up respecting other cultures and understanding how sacred their traditions were. Through these lessons I knew about appropriation versus appreciation at a young age. She taught me to respect the original people of this land by taking me to museums with the small amounts of spare money she had. She taught me the heartbreaking truths about my ancestors and slave trade, she would have me listen to my grandparents about the horror of living through Jim Crow America.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that my mother was a black woman born in 1968. She had a very hard childhood and had me at the tender age of 19. She struggled to make ends meet as a single mother and lived in a very difficult time in american history. Yet, she made the lesson of my life about Humanity. To respect humanity, that humans are not greater than or less than any other human. She taught me to respect traditions and culture. To never look at someone and judge them based on what they look like, what they wear or what they celebrate. She showed me that there is a whole world of humans outside of my known borders that deserve respect and love. She taught me to look inward and check my own biases and my own misjudgements about others. My mother and I had some really hard times in our relationship but looking around at the world today, I can not help but be eternally grateful for the lesson in humanity she taught me.