Late at night, our 14-year-old daughter said that our husband and wife turned against each other: the child who can't speak loses as soon as he opens his mouth.

After 1: 00 in the morning, my cousin suddenly made a voice call to me:

From the resentful tone of her sobs, I learned:

It turned out that her 14-year-old daughter, who was in the second year of junior high school, had just spoken out against her, and her cousin had a big fight with her.

"tell me, how can I raise such a white-eyed wolf and put on such a husband?"

When she threw out these two questions, frankly speaking, I was very distressed and sympathetic, but it was more about thinking.

In fact, if she can jump out and take a good look at her usual relationship with her daughter and husband, she may be able to find the answer.

Who raised a child who can't talk?

Cousin is a stay-at-home mother.

Since her daughter was in fifth grade, she has quit her job and turned into a 24-hour babysitter who revolves around her family all day.

Fearing that her careless and single-minded brother-in-law would become more and more helpful, she seldom took the initiative to use her brother-in-law and did everything herself.

At home, she has the absolute right to speak. Although she is weak in temper, she is strong everywhere, and she is also very mean.

When my daughter doesn't do her homework at home during the holiday, she doesn't ask questions with concern, but swears:

"look at you, you can't be admitted to a good university in the future. be careful to be a farmer all your life, just like your uncle in your hometown."

If her brother-in-law is eager to protect her daughter and asks her not to talk to her daughter like that, her cousin will go back directly:

"you can only tell me what to do. have you ever shared anything for me? if you can't do it, just keep your mouth shut and don't say anything."

I went to my cousin's house several times and listened to her sharp-tongued and unforgiving way of speaking. I couldn't stand it.

The outbreak of this problem is still related to the fact that the daughter does not study and only looks at her mobile phone.

My cousin was angry for a moment, pointing to the trash can and scolding, "if you want to be garbage, like your father, I can't help it."

An outspoken remark instantly ignited the anger of his brother-in-law and daughter:

"do you talk like that? it's too much!"

"X, say, all day long, I think my father married you blindly, you psychopath!"

Knowing that the daughter had reached puberty, she began to disobey and spoke impolitely and impolitely to her parents, but my cousin could not have imagined that the daughter's mouth was so poisonous that she spoke to her own mother like this.

I have warned my cousin not to criticize her brother-in-law in front of her daughter and not to say hurtful things all the time.

But she did not take it seriously, went her own way, planted in the past, bear the fruit of today, do not blame anyone.

Indeed, children do not know how to speak properly, lack respect for their elders, and have no education. Parents must be sad and sad.

But have you ever thought about who gave the child a wrong demonstration; and who made the child think that attack, abuse and belittling are normal expressions?

Zheng Yuanjie, the master of fairy tales, said, "your child is what you are."

A child who can't talk well must have the inheritance of his parents.

The world will always be kind to a talking child.

Charles William Elliot, president of Harvard University, has a piece of advice:

"in the lifelong education of a lady or gentleman, I think there is only one kind of intellectual development that is necessary, and that is to use language to communicate accurately and elegantly."

We all want the world to be kind to our children, but we often neglect to correctly guide the words that our children often say to others.

Children who can't speak can easily arouse the anger of others, affect and destroy the harmony with others.

On the contrary, children who can speak know that the sense of proportion of speaking not only reflects their own self-cultivation, but also brings warmth to the people around them.

A few days ago, I met such a junior high school boy at the site of nucleic acid testing in the community.

Because most of the people in line are elderly people, in the heat, more or less they will complain and impatient.

The boy took out an electric fan and handed it to an old woman in front of him who had been wiping her sweat.

"Grandma, you use it. This weather is really uncomfortable. Do you have any water? I have unboiled mineral water here. If you need it, here you are."

The other old man next to him also agreed and talked to the boy.

Although the boy may not understand the topic, he listens carefully and responds positively from beginning to end.

After the old man had finished nagging, he never cut in, or seemed impatient, fearing that the old man would be tired of talking, and carefully reminded him:

"Grandpa, why don't you have a sip of water before you speak slowly.

I have learned a lot from you talking about these things. "

His politeness and modesty were full of praise from the old people who had come into contact with him.

Don't forget to find out which family he is, so sensible and so talkative.

Witnessing the whole process at that time, I was really impressed by the boy's high EQ and good self-cultivation, and I felt that his "popularity" was not without reason.

Everyone likes children who can convey goodwill between words.

Both know how to understand the situation of others, know how to take into account other people's feelings, so that all people close to him are very comfortable.

As Cai Kangyong said:

"the more you can talk, the happier others will be, and the happier they will be, the more they will like you.

The more people like you, the more help you get, and the happier you will be. "

Indeed, language hides emotion and temperature.

Grasp the sense of size of speech, do not speak ill of each other, do not point, left behind, it is possible to achieve their own good evaluation.

Whether a child can speak or not determines his creation for the rest of his life.

Children who use the right words, speak cleanly and speak well can win applause and flowers from the world no matter where they go.

How to raise a talking child.

How exactly do you raise a talking child?

I think first of all, parents should set a good example and demonstration for their children, so that their children can feel the tenderness and strength of words.

Then through scientific teaching, step by step to improve the child's self-cultivation of speaking.

Combined with relevant research and expert sharing, I summed up the "3F" parenting guidelines that parents can follow:

1. Fact (guide children to learn to listen to facts).

An American boy found that the little clay figurine he had pinched in his art class had been broken by his classmates, and he was so angry that he wanted to scold his classmates.

Then his father asked him, "yours."