Journal Entry 1-31-21

Well folks, it is another day at 7:48 and my computer is dead. Not knowing what my children have done with my charger. So I am on my phone. Trying to think of extra and exciting parts to my story. I am writing for the vocal challenge.

Wishing this weekend was longer, wishing I could turn back time just too see Friday yet again. My cup of coffee beside me and my phone at my finger tips. I'm gonna try to tell you how the weekend went for us.

Friday we ended up taking our son to the dr. Which case he is fine. Our oldest went to her friends house and just left home with the youngest two.

Saturday came along and John wanted to stay home. Trinity wanted to go out with us and we had no clue what too do.

Saturday we ended up at the arcade with 32 credit on one of those arcade cards. Trinity wanted too blow them all on claw machines. Hey, she won a bouncing ball.

So proud! Then off to the Good will to look around. That child of mine of how she just loves the Good Will.

We also had like three mocha Frappuccinos yesterday. I had been up since five - thirty in the morning. Needless to say, mom was ready for a nap when we got home. I got maybe a whole five minutes in at nap time.

Sunday its finish laundry day. Yay! Not exactly but hey it has to be done for the week a head right. My oldest Sahara a.k.a Big Red she will be home today hoping I went to the store to buy her some guy pants. She is going through a faze. I think!

She says she doesn't identify as a boy but sometimes I question that.

I will take her out when she comes home.

I do not want to mess up by going to Target without her. Hot Topic love the store easy to shop without her but we do not have one in our town.

I wish I could stay home tomorrow and just write stories. A dream right! Yes, I know but hey we all got too dream some time.

So I need to make a Dr. Appointment.

I found out like a year ago I have a benign brain tumor that is pushing against my

pituitary gland and I have not had a period February 2019.

TMI! Sorry.

I have not been back because it was at first fear of going. Then I could not take off work. Then the car catching fire and worried about the one we drive now and also being without a Job for a while and no insurance. Now, day's at work not having many of those and still the junkie car. I know the car will make it too work at least.

This is what I think about a lot of days that I am just sharing with you.

I believe I can be healed by God.

I also know I can be holding my own blessing back. Time to step up and build my relationship with the man upstairs. This world is getting crazier too.

I still got to divorce my second husband. That took off and went to Florida that should be in jail for something that he has done. The piece of crap tried emailing last week. Why! I have no earthly idea. It has been three years he has been gone. More too the story on that one maybe another day.

Charlie and I we were together since I was eighteen and until I was twenty-eight. I always had that gut feeling with him that if our kids and I need him. Charlie would come running. He did.

We want to make things right again. Our relationship is so much better now than when we were kids.

Oftentimes, I hurt because it was my fault why we split up. I messed this family up.

Not a day goes by to where I do not try.

I show them I am new, I am sorry and how much I love each and everyone of them.

I wish I could turn back the clock and fix it before it ever happened. I can't.

Just move forward a new fresh start.

I have noticed my oldest Big Red, she has opened up more. I love every bit of it.

I hang on to what I get and I do not take it for granted.

Well my love's my phone just buzzed.

It is in the red. So that is all for my journal entry for today. Have a blessed Sunday!