Joey isn't the only one who doesn't share food!

If there is one thing that just about all American's can agree on, it's a love of the hit tv show, Friends. And nothing is more iconic than the episode where Joey makes it loud and clear that "JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!"

It's probably one of my favorite episodes because it's one I quote on a regular basis.

As a mother with three kids and a man-child husband, my day is usually filled with some version of serving at least one of them-if not all of them simultaniously-every moment of every day.

I'm pretty sure any other parent out there can relate to that! If we aren't changing diapers, giving up control of the remote so the toddler can watch Paw Patrol for the millionth time, or re-learning 6th grade math to help an older sibling with their homework, we're *falsely* kicking ourselves for not giving enough.

We don't often complain about the self-sacrificing lifestyle. In fact, most of us get a good amount of joy when we see all our hard work pay off. However, there are a few instances when we do put our foot down and declare the need for a selfish act.

These are mostly little joys that we can rationalize taking for ourselves.

I have a spot to sit on the couch whenever I want it, the right to claim a headache and sleep-in any Saturday of my choosing while the husband rangles the kids, and a stash of candy that only I am allowed to eat.

Now it's that last one that holds particular significance today. You see, with all my kids past toddler stage, I have boldly and loudly claimed the right to own all the food that is on my own plate!

With this unabashed Mommy's Food Decree, I've stretched my territory to bags of favorite chips, maple doughnuts, McDonald's diet Cokes, and any dinner or dessert purchased at a restaurant for my personal consumption.

None of this dinner for two at Applebees! If I get dinner and dessert, I expect every single morsel to land squarely in my own mouth!

Despite this clear and simple law, my husband is constantly under the impression that sharing is acceptable! In the drive-through lane, he gets a burger and fries with no drink and then has the audacity to help himself to a few sips of mine!

I feel no remorse when I shame him for stealing the one and only part of my being that I can safely say actually belongs to me and me alone.

He should know that after fifteen years of marriage and three kids, I'm going to guard a slice of cheesecake like a lioness that just took down her first water buffalo after a week of starvation.

And so over the years, we settled into a routine of common food laws and the Mommy Food Decree. Sometimes he might mention that any food on his plate was mine for the taking hoping that I might find some charity in my heart.

Ha! Fat Chance!

That was however until I met Bethany.

Bethany recently started teaching the Sunday School at my church and it was one particular lesson that seemed to hit home for me.

Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what biblical story she was sharing, or what lead her down the path to divulge this morsel of wisdom. None of that really stuck.

What did stick, however, was when she announced that like me she had enacted the Mommy's Food Decree in her house. I was excited! Nothing helped justify your own tyrannical tendencies like hearing from a kindred spirit.

Like me, she had a strict "Joey doesn't share food!" mentality. As she laid out her reasonings I had to grip the chair to keep from standing and shouting a few AMEN SISTER! (An act not particularly common in my faith)

However, she then began to layout the strain in her relationship. Her husband felt like he was giving 110% and she felt like she was giving 110% but neither one seemed to feel any appreciation or love from the other.

On a particular Saturday, this weighed heavy on her. She was desirous to show her husband that she did appreciate all that he did for their family, but didn't really know how to go about it.

That day, Bethany's husband had woken up early and gotten a dozen doughnuts for the family's breakfast. As the kids picked their treat, Bethany's husband made sure they all stayed clear of the lemon filled delicacy sitting at the front of the box.

That was Mom's doughnut and we all know the rule by now, right?

See the thing was, Bethany knew that her husband liked lemon filled doughnuts too.

"How come you only got one?" she asked him.

"It was the last one, so I got it for you," Bethany's husband explained.

In a very uncharacteristic and split-second decision Bethany responded, "How about we split it?"

Naturally, her husband sputtered and gasped in shock. He probably even repeated the Mommy's Food Decree back to her, less she had forgotten it.

"I do love lemon doughnuts," Bethany explained to him, "but I love you more."

Now it may seem silly that cutting a lemon filled doughnut in half could spark a relationship-altering change, but it did!

Bethany's small act of kindness showed her husband that despite her lioness hunger for something of her own, he was the one and only person in the world she was willing to relax her death-grip for...

...Because she loved him more...

So, I'm not ashamed to say that it made me pause and reflect on my own life. Was a slice of cheesecake more important than showing love and kindness to my own husband?

I'm not going to lie, I took the rest of Sunday School to mull it over. But by the time we left and were driving home, I decided to test out Bethany's theory.

We were each given a chocolate bar at the end of the lesson. It wasn't easy, but halfway through that car ride, I pulled it out and proceeded to ask my husband if he wanted to share it with me.

He might have swerved a bit, asked me if I was feeling alright, and maybe studied me long and hard to make sure he didn't accidentally take someone else's wife home that day. But finally, he asked the question I was waiting for: "But why?"

And I was happy to tell him, "Because I love you more!"

It was a bit uncomfortable to watch half my favorite chocolate disappear down his gullet, but with practice, it's gotten easier.

It may be small and silly, but for a spouse of a "Joey", they know it's a pretty big deal. No deed says I Love You More like sharing your food.