It’s Not Protection, Parents. It’s Control

Break Out or Break Down: The Stark Choice

Parents, this is urgent: if you keep your child in a cage, they will either break out or break down. Pick your poison.

I’ve seen it over and over. In high school, most kids with strict parents didn’t know how to think for themselves. They were sneaky, anxious, and reckless. Drugs. Legal trouble. Casual relationships with no boundaries. All because Mommy and Daddy were always making the decisions, always controlling. When those kids finally had freedom, chaos followed.

Even in college, the same thing repeated. Kids with strict parents suddenly had zero coping skills. No judgment. No internal compass. Restrictions alone don’t create safety; they delay rebellion until consequences are far worse.

As parents, you can’t rely on restrictions until college. You have to teach restraint early. Critical thinking, self-control, and decision-making are survival skills.

Gendered Parenting Is a Trap—Raise Children, Not Boys and Girls

Many parents, especially mothers, feel the need to protect daughters more than sons. As a woman who's planning for kids, I understand (I see 20-year-old young ladies and feel an immense need to protect them), but some moms over-shelter daughters while giving boys freedom—a disaster waiting to happen.

I’m never surprised when girls raised in cages end up in abusive relationships (platonic or romantic) because they weren’t taught to navigate life, set boundaries, or trust themselves.

Meanwhile, I’ve seen more boys get into petty fights, smoke, trespass, underage drink, and drive recklessly. Yet somehow, society worries more about daughters’ reputations than sons’ survival.

It comes off as, “I’d rather my son be dead than my daughter be abused.” Stop it. As a parent, you shouldn’t want either.

My parents didn’t raise children that way. They come from Bangladesh. My dad was parentified from a young age. My mom had to lead early. Life never asked their gender; it demanded capability. That’s the lesson I carry.

I refuse to raise “boys” and “girls.” I will raise children—capable, prepared, resilient adults who can navigate the real world. Because the world doesn’t care about gender, it only cares if you are ready.

Walking Through the Hood: Confidence as Survival

Fun fact about me: I grew up in the hood. My college was far away. Some nights, I walked home at midnight or 1 a.m. alone. Every man I passed (including those asking for money) just looked at me and walked away. Why? Because I wasn’t raised in a cage.

I walked with purpose. Keys ready. Winter Soldier walk activated. Resting-bitch-face on standby. My mental state (alert, self-assured, aware) showed outwardly. Confidence isn’t just psychological. It's physical. It projects safety.

Once, I almost got harmed—not because of my size or appearance, but because I felt insecure. That internal doubt showed in my body. Vulnerability shows. Predators notice it immediately. I’ve seen vulnerability so many times in girls who were sheltered, of course, predators who are actively looking for that can see it a mile away.

And let’s be very clear: I’m a 5’3” woman, under 100 lbs, hijabi, often mistaken for a high schooler. People assume I’m harmless, yet confidence alone kept me safe. Physical strength isn’t what matters—it’s the way you carry yourself.

Mothers especially, listen carefully: your daughter’s confidence isn’t a “girl power” trend—it’s survival. Make her self-esteem and confidence core values. As women, I'm sure you've noticed how the ones with low confidence get screwed over in every aspect of life.

From Restriction to Restraint

Parenting isn’t about enforcing rules forever; it’s about building internal compasses. Every rule should eventually become a principle your child carries inside. You don’t want obedience born of fear—you want judgment born of understanding.

Teach character, critical thinking, and resilience. Teach confidence that shows in how they walk, stand, and speak.

Stop building cages. Start building fortresses.

Parents, hear me: sheltering doesn’t save. Preparing does. The time to start is now.

—X—

PenumbraBytes

This article was written with the help of AI as a creative assistant, guided and edited by me to ensure a personal, thoughtful touch throughout.