Is It Worth It?

I had to write this down but to anyone who reads this, hello I am 20 years old, and my name is Allen. Throughout my childhood I had a semi normal life but my older brother was the golden child so I was always ignored for the most part. In many cases when I would ask for things I would be told that they do enough for me and to not be greedy unlike my brother whenever he asks for something no matter how unnecessary it is, our parents take him that same day to get whatever he wants. There’s more to it but I rather not rant on about it, the reason I’m writing this is my father had passed away. I had to take some time off work to attend his funeral and my mother dropped a bomb on me, she informed me that she had cancer and I was getting worse and nobody wanted to help care for her, my first thought was “What about her favorite golden child?” turns out my brother wants nothing to do with her even though he owns a house he inherited and has the extra space and resources to care for our mother. My family sided with him on it excusing it as he has his own life but dropping the burden on me because I “owe” it to her, even though she wasn’t even a good parent to me. At the end I gave in and decided to relocate to care for her needs until she passes but deep inside I just hoped she would recover and we would have that bond I always wanted to have with her since I was just a child. The first few days were neutral as always, it felt like I was a kid again just being ignored by my mother but over time it has gotten worse. I’m the only one taking care of her while my whole family basically abandoned her, yet they all excuse themselves including my mother saying they have their own lives making mine seem worthless enough to stay by her side. She treats me horribly even though I am all she has no matter what way you look at it, she throws the food I spend so much time cooking on the floor and always says “This is garbage and disgusting just like you.” She can still walk and yet refuses to help at all only saying I “owe” it to her. She doesn’t even put the minimal of effort to help whatsoever I ask her to please help me, and she just lets me talking on my own like if I was crazy. She doesn’t even say that she loves me nor thanks me for doing all this for her. The reason I’m ranting on and writing this is because it was my birthday yesterday and I did nothing but cry all day due to everything and everybody supporting the way she treats me, even though I do everything for her I receive yells and get called names in return I have endured this treatment for nearly a year. I just can’t simply do this anymore, so I packed up all my things and called my old boss who fortunately gave me back my job and I’ll be leaving in 10 minutes. Throughout this whole time nobody even showed up to check on her once, so I cancelled all the bills this way she has no way to contact other family members, not like they’ll pick up anyway. I have my own life to live and goals to accomplish and never in my life have I ever wished anything on anybody but honestly, I wish my “mother” rots away and ends up dying alone like the miserable old hag she is.