Interracial Marraige

Marrying outside of my race, culture, beliefs, customs, excreta was never a thought in my mind. I wanted to marry someone that understands me, accepts me for who I am, and loves me unconditionally. Although my parents thought differently and urged me differently since they were both very strict and traditional.

I remembered when I told my mom about my husband, then boyfriend, and my mom's response was, "Okay, that's fine but don't get too serious with him." I really did not think too much about what my mom had said because I knew that she said it because that is how she felt. I told myself that my happiness comes first and that I get to choose that happiness if it was clean happiness, meaning no drama attached.

My husband and I met while serving in the United States Marine Corps. Honestly, I had no intentions of getting into a relationship because I had ended a nasty relationship of two years, but I am a true believer that things happen for a reason.

I was introduced to my husband through another Marine. I was not too sure about the guy I was introduced to because he is the quiet type and more of a listen then a converser. Still, I went on a date with him and befriended him. After some time, I realized that this guy was great. Dating for us was easy at first because we worked in the same building on the same floor. However, after some time we got separated, my husband was moved to a different office building, so we had to start driving separately to work and only saw each other in the early morning or late evenings. This did not stop us and made us stronger as a couple.

Introduction my Haitian boyfriend to my siblings was easy as they supported me in my decisions in whomever I wanted to date. It was not easy introduction my Haitian boyfriend to my mother. She was not mad or even confused as she knew that this was a high possibility being that I am away from the Hmong community and Hmong people around me was little to none. Again, she said dating is fine but do not be serious. My father was already out of my life as he and my mother had divorced, and he had moved out. Out of respect, I wanted to include my father in my life since I already knew that this would be a life changer. He introduced me to his family, and I felt a lot of love and acceptance right away from his side.

After dating for a short period, we got engaged and married. It took my mom some time to come around as time went on, but she did. Being that I came from a strict and traditional family household it was hard for the change at first. There was a lot of language barriers for both sides of the families as my mother spoke mainly Hmong and my mother in-law spoke Haitian Creole. There was a lot of cultural clashes more from his side as they did not know about our traditions and culture.

Our interracial marriage was not easy, especially for me mentally as I was always raised to marry a Hmong man and live within the normal lifestyle of a nyab (daughter-in-law), but I chose not to live that life style I got a lot of flak from my side of the family, shaming me, voicing their disappointments, voicing their unacceptance, name calling, etc. I have always had thick skin, but I must admit at one point I did allow all the negativity get to me and almost break me down. But I realized that these people do not pay my bills, take care of me in any way, they do not control my happiness, or even cared about me so why should I let what they have to say bother me. Since that day I lived my days for my little family and those who support me.

We have been married 11 years going on many more years.