I Married A Rich Man

A coffee in hand and the view of a new day peeking in my window at me through shadowed trees I raise my glass to my husband Richard and our love story. The heart and cup holder in the background of these images he made for me last Christmas and in five days from now we will celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary. We said our vows in the living room of his parent’s home on Christmas eve in front of the tree and surrounded by family. To be honest they were a captive audience as we surprised everyone by having a judge just show up and perform the ceremony unannounced. My sister in law Amy made sure we had a cake to cut and our dear friends Karin and Mike stood up with us. Shauna stood right next to me dressed in pink and holding a small bouquet of roses. The moment and vows monumental in comparison to the space and time they were said in.

After the very short and sweet ceremony we continued with the annual Christmas white elephant exchange and lasagna dinner. Driving home with our already made family our attention turned toward getting Shauna and Katie to bed while Richard stayed up late putting Shauna’s bike together for Christmas morning. Not the most glamourous of wedding nights but truly honest, accurate and part of our story. Some one asked me once if Richard and I would renew our vows someday, I joke and say if one or the other of us hadn’t renewed our vows every day we wouldn’t still be married today. My father said Richard and you don’t fight you have power struggles. Truly we have fought, with each other, for each other and together against the odds at times. I heard once that when a man loves a woman she becomes his weakness and when a woman loves a man he becomes her strength, that is called an exchange of power.

Richard comes from Kansas prairies, rolling flint hills, hunting, baseball, longevity, loyalty, loud places, hard workers and a very large amazing family. I come from the Colorado mountains, small quiet spaces to write in, coffee cups, cold early mornings, motorcycles, good and genuine people, a large but very fragmented family legacy. On the checklist of what we have in common there is really just a couple we could check but by the grace of God, much prayer and the sheer determination of not giving up it has been strong enough to have lasted this long. Our happiest places together oddly enough seem to always be outdoors. Dirt road drives, decks, gardens and fire pits are we find our peace, harmony and best times for each other. We are both a little strong willed and it can feel and look a lot like a pinball machine when confined together in tight spaces for long periods of time.

The other day over breakfast Richard said I am sorry you didn’t have a nicer wedding, I feel bad. I felt tears come up from my heart and I meant every word, I wouldn’t change it, it’s a chapter in our story, its ours. Then we both laughed that our Wedding only cost fifty dollars and that was for the marriage license. In a world that values good investments I calculated that the fifty dollars invested that day has given us. Ten thousand nine hundred and fifty days, two hundred sixty-two thousand and eight hundred hours, two truly amazing and beautiful daughters and a rock star son in law. Last but not least and gratefully a home we have made together, a place where family and friends are always welcome, a place our children come back to for Christmas and to celebrate each other and our traditions. As with any great investment one must be willing to accept the high and lows, spikes and drops, gains and losses in the unpredictability and challenging seasons life and being imperfect humans will always bring. Finding someone you can weather it all with becomes your story, staying with and still loving that someone after thirty years or more becomes your blessing and reward. Praying God continues to have patience with us, where we are weakest I pray he is stronger, where we may fail him, each other and others that he would show us continued grace, forgiveness and mercy.