I lost life in 15 days

Hmmm !!! What can I say?

A little about me I am new to vocal, and I am grateful for this platform as I love to write and this is the place for it.

Life has not been very good to us although I am grateful for each day I wake up in the morning. I wish things were different. Each of us has suffered the pain of Covid-19 in the last year and lost family and friends as they were transported to another planet. You wake up the next morning you can get the news that this family member passed away. I mean we didn't even get a chance to mourn for one person and one more was gone. This is not fair !!! A similar thing happened to me my life was shattered in 15 days. My mom suffered and me domestic violence for nearly 30 years of our life. My mom suffered the most where I can bet not a single bone in my mom's body was broken. My dad treated us we were scared to death. We sit in a room for days without food with the fear that he would come anytime and hit us again. I hated him terribly. This went on for years and years I was able to overcome the fear after moving to the USA, but my mom was left alone without anyone to protect her. Despite everything she still loved this man. He would bit her constantly, even hit her when she was sleeping, kick her and choke her. He loved torturing us because what made him happy was that he could control us completely.

The only time my mom was the happiest is when she was away from this man in the States with me. But me being a student with no stability and she is being a visitor she couldn't stay longer than 6 months. It would pinch my heart to send her back to that hell. This went on for a while until last year when she had to go back to India by April 2020.

My mom began experiencing the same trouble of being beaten up and tortured almost day and night. She was 65 and was getting weaker. It ached to see her this way. My dad would gamble every night and would hit her if he would lose what a devil, she fell in love with 30 years ago.

One night my father lost in match-fixing and to remove his frustration of losing he kicked mom’s chest so bad that she bled internally. She lied to me saying I feel in the kitchen. Covid was at its peak I was unable to travel to be with her. We got her admitted to the hospital and got her test done and began her treatment she was constantly put on the oxygen machine to stabilize her breathing. Her treatment began and I hoped that she would get better, but her condition was deteriorating. The internal damage was too bad she began vomiting blood clots. She was not getting better I couldn't talk to her or see her because phones were not allowed in the ICU. I was restless and stressed one fine day she suddenly got better, and she was expected to be discharged from the hospital but that night her oxygen dropped terribly that the hospital had to put on the ventilator. She was fed up with all the treatments and tubes that were connected to her body she had lost the hope to leave. She denied putting the oxygen on because she either wanted to die or just go back home. But somehow, we convinced her to wear it so that she could get better and that was last what she spoke evening she was gone. The same evening, she was breathing through the ventilator, but she had left me alone in this world. The doctor wanted someone from the family to check her and confirm if they could remove her from the ventilator.

That was the day when my life came crashing down, she gave up on living because the life she lived for 30 years she felt dying was easier and peaceful. She was not my mother but my child, we often hear people say as you get older you tend to behave like a kid and that's what she uses to do. She was my kid which I lost that day.

To date I regret had I kept her behind me in the USA that monster couldn't have killed her. I regret this every moment of my life, part of me died on 13th July 2020 at 9:30 pm IST. I wished I could have given her a better life to live but I failed, and that regret kills me from within.

I pray to Lord to bless her, give her the ultimate peace she always wished. My life has been miserable since then I couldn't even see her the last time because COVID was at the peak and flights were canceled. I have never lost someone close to me in my entire life and this incident was the first close one that has shattered every corner of my heart.