I am a liar

I am a liar. How did this come about, you ask? Lying can be fun. My kids still lift their legs when we cross a railroad track. It can also be benevolent deception really. Where did our puppy go, Mom?  He is at our friends farm, honey. The day I became a Mom is the day I became a liar. Embellished truths and little white lies became my normal day to day while trying to convince my kids to brush their teeth, and wash their hands. Now it is becoming more challenging. “I will not ask you again.” That’s not true. I will probably ask another 50 times. “They don’t sell replacement batteries for that toy”.  “The TV doesn’t work when it rains.”  “The animals on the side of the road are just taking a nap.”  The jig is up! I am a liar. And my kids have figured it out.

It is time for me to confess and turn over a new leaf on the little white lies I have continued to speak to make my day ‘easier’.  From counting down the NYE countdown with the east coast clock so the kids are in bed at 9 pm PST, to burning grilled cheese sandwiches on one side and turning it over and crossing my fingers.  Rumble strips on the side of the road are for blind drivers.  The internet shuts off every night.  This isn’t a soft drink, its actually coffee and you wouldn’t like it.  Swallow your gum and it stays in your stomach for years. I thought I was being creative to get tasks done. Oh yeah, the elf comes every year in October too.  That guy never seems to move anymore either.  To prevent devastation we have told our boys that the elf doesn’t move if you didn’t listen to your parents.

Road trips are no different. Can I play my music on the car stereo Mom?  The Bluetooth won’t connect to your older ipad son. Can I use your phone? My iphone cannot download your games. We cannot have the light on in the car at night because it blinds other drivers. If you pee in the pool the water will turn red.

The day I became a mom I became a liar. I lie to my children daily. The milkshake machine is broken at McDonalds. I am going out back to clean the backyard means I may be smoking the odd cigarette. Daylight savings time has forced me to change the clocks in the house. I lie everyday constantly.  When will it end? It started innocent enough around Santa Claus and the Easter bunny. But it has back-fired on me. My kid was screaming in the car the other day, during a massive rainstorm while we were on the highway, “ I have to pee, Mommy!” I desperately searched for a safe spot to pull over and let my son empty. He started laughing and said, “I was just joking”. WTH! My 8 year old is challenging me when I say your tongue turns white when you lie. He stated, “then Mom your tongue should be from the North Pole”.

The truth is the lying has become funny now. And it has become something we do to fool one another into using our brains. I have changed the lies I tell to more brain teaser scenario. From things like why do volcanoes erupt, to how the rain comes down – the lies we tell one another are merging our brains to be quick and think. My kids and I are constantly in a tangle to figure it out.  

The truth is it is exhausting telling all these lies because the very reason I used them- to basically manipulate my kids into doing what I needed them to do – is now what they are starting to do with me. Parents lets just stop the lies! As my kids get older and they understand more about what the world is really about, they question me – the parent – and they need me to be honest. Parenting by lying is not a building block of trust with my kiddos. Please help me. I need an intervention…or do I?