I ACCEPT WHO I AM

Life isn't easy but much rather a rollercoaster of issues and emotions that are left unresolved. Being a teenager trapped in a cycle of depression , feeling left and not fitting makes life even worse. The feeling of having a voice but not being able to use it is worse. To isolate yourself and to be all consumed by a put of emotions.

Maybe the problem isn't how I can't use my voice nor articulate myself but maybe the problem is the people I need to be heard by .. who neither don't hear nor see me. Am I too soft or do other people need hearing aids??

The beauty of life is the people you surround yourself with , but what all you can see and feel are pricks and thorns? Where your only escape is music!!

Well let me story about Samantha , a girl who sunk into a deep depression, which was never expected from anyone. Her world became one of misery, sadness and anger.

Samantha was in nineth grade, she was an A student and nobody expected less from her. She lived with both her parents and her one sibling- her younger sister Amie. From afar this family looked perfect and a stable family. - Well that isn't always the case..

Sam had strict parents so she never went out or did what normal teenagers did. She was never really disheartened about that , she always just focussed on her books and nothing else. She wasn't really a social person but she had friends.

The problem with having with having strict parents is that you isolate yourself a lot because you were never given an opportunity to be around people and when that opportunity finally arises you don't know how to handle it.(Sam was book smart and not street smart!)

Sam was fine with the life she was living but there was only one thing troubling her. Her mother! Although she knew her mother loved her a lot she couldn't rub off how she felt her mother loved her sister more than her. She couldn't rub off how she felt unseen by her mother. She couldn't ignore how her mother favoured her sister in every situation. She felt as if whatever she did was not enough for her mother. She was well behaved, an A student but still her mother overlooked everything and favoured her sister.

And no she did not hate her sister for her mother's actions but it did strain their relationship. Her heart was slowly filling up with anger watching her mother call out the most smallest of her mistakes, not appreciating her as much as her siter, giving her a bigger workload than her sister. Whenever Sam an Amie were in a disagreement she would always take Amie's side regardless of who is in the wrong. That killed Sam the most. That is when she started to have anger issues and isolated herself.

She couldn't deal with how alone she felt while surrounded by people.

That was when she ventured into writing and and started expressing herself through poetry and stories. She also had another issue - hearing voices but that was when she decided to ignore those noises and focussed on her love for music and poetry.

PART 2 ?