How To Teach Daughters About Love

My father wanted a son. My grandfather prayed for a grandson. My mother named me Milo.

God laughed and gave them me instead — a girl.

In the Balkans couples were deprived of certain things if they didn’t have sons. Couples having only daughters were looked at as being “cursed”. As if being a female is a disappointment, burden or a shame.

Ridiculous — right?

In some aspects it may be harder to raise a daughter. There is just so much importance lied upon raising your daughter, especially when it comes to developing a healthy self-image and understanding of love.

If I have a girl, my wish for her is to know love of a good man. To experience true love. Until she does I will teach her 3 most important things that my mother taught me about love.

1. Love Is Not All That Great

I don’t want my daughter to think love is glorious all the time — the butterflies, the sleepless nights, the pink sunglasses. Given enough time, all of that disappears.

Then you are left with something that you have created during all that excitement. You are left with love. And often it means you argue about the broken microwave or unpaid bills.

For me, love is to be able to get upset at my partner and tell him how I feel because I feel safe in our relationship and I know that we can work through the problems.

Love is watching my partner do something that annoys me but wanting to share my life with him anyway.

Love Is Not Attention

Most young girls mistake attention for love. After all, we are living in the age of technology and many of our daughters spend significant amount of time on social networks.

Following someone’s profile, sending a friend request, or even tossing “likes” isn’t love, it’s — attention.

Sometimes girls like to display anything that receives attention from boys rather than being their beautiful authentic selves. Let’s protect them from themselves.

Some kids had to fight for love so they learned that getting attention equals love. Attention usually went to those who screamed the loudest. Attention-seeking usually comes from a lack of self love, so a person seeks it from outside sources.

Let’s teach our daughters to accept praise and attention from others but not to live for it. Let’s help them learn to love and value themselves for who they truly are when the phone is off and nobody is watching.

2. Love Can Hurt

I want to teach my daughter that getting love from another person will feel wonderful , but it’s not going to save her. It doesn’t make things shiny all the time and there is a chance that love will fade.

And if it does, and things fall apart with someone she loves, she will be okay regardless of how painful it is. I don’t want to raise her to be cynical but I wish for her to know the whole truth about love.

We spend so much time teaching our kids about how relationships should feel good and they shouldn’t compromise their self-worth. I support that but, we also need to tell them that love can be challenging and sometimes disappointing.

3. Love As An Example

Most importantly I to be an example for my daughter. I wish her to learn on an example of me and my partner. He is a true gentlemen.

He always rushes ahead to hold open the door wherever we go.When we cross the street, he holds out his arm to make sure I don’t fall and always walks closest to the street. When we go to a restaurant, he always pulls out his wallet to pay, even though all of our money is coming from the same account.

And my daughter will be watching. She will look for someone just like her dad. She will grow up with someone who is kind and generous. She will grow up with someone who loves her with all his heart, someone she can depend on, no matter what.

She will grow up with someone who loves her Mother.

I wish to teach my daughter, that in the world where everything is falling apart and half of couples divorce — love still exits.

What’s the best way to teach her?

To marry the right man.

And as she grows into a beautiful, confident woman, my daughter will have known love, because she’s grown up watching me love her father.