How to Reach Your Loved One in the Hospital During COVID-19

It's 2021.

You're a millennial.

Your grandma is dying.

There's a pandemic.

You can't go see her.

This is for her own safety, as you might bring COVID-19 into the hospital with you unknowingly when you go to visit her. In the case of my own grandma, cooped up in the packed intensive care unit of a hospital in the largest city of Wisconsin, there can only be two designated visitors in her room throughout the duration of her stay on that floor.

This poses a problem for all generations. Baby boomers won't be able to see their mothers. Gen Z won't be able to say goodbye to their great grandmas.

What are three generations of people supposed to do? Wait until it's too late? Say their goodbyes at an open casket? Call and risk disrupting a life-changing nap?

While there is a chance she might be moved to a floor that allows more frequent visitors, there are also some modern (and old-fashioned) solutions to help you and your grandma heal from afar.

1. Write a letter.

Seeing flowers or a card after waking up from a nap meant everything in the world to me when I was in the hospital.

While some rooms will not allow flowers and other gifts due to the communicable nature of the pandemic, you can still write a letter in a Google Document, and:

• Email your letter directly to your grandma, if she's hip like that
• Have the designated visitor read it from their phone
• Have the designated visitor print it out at their home

Writing a letter helps you say what you need to say, ask questions that you can't ask your grandma in person, and get a general sense of if she is under the impression that she will come home or not. Even if the future looks bleak, you can provide hope in your letter or prayers for her. Some ideas for a letter include:

• Funny stories
• Your earliest childhood memories
• Your favorite moments with her
• Her life accomplishments
• A story you didn't get to tell her
• How happy you are today
• Your future plans and goals
• How much she means to you
• How you will honor her in the future

When I wrote my letter, I refrained from mentioning or asking about death directly and phrases like "when you're gone." An optimistic letter can make a huge difference in a person's final days, whether they're coming home or not. Keeping it optimistic will also help you feel like you contributed all you could during a difficult time, without anything to regret later.

2. Send an eCard.

To some of you, this sounds like something your grandma would do.

Do it.

Is your grandma posted up in the hospital bed with an iPad? Perfect. Can the designated visitor give you their email so they can play the eCard on their phone? Great.

Here are a couple of places where you can create an eCard:

• American Greeting Cards (Full of ready-to-send cards)
• Canva (Templates in which you can easily add photos)

3. Create a Video.

You don't have to have the awkward pauses or the connection issues that come with Zoom calls. After all, Gram Grams might not know how that newfangled technology works, or she might be hours deep in a good day's rest.

Almost every phone these days are capable of taking a video. Use it! Pile a stack of books until you create a makeshift tripod, or hold your phone like you're preparing for a selfie.

In a video, you can send short well-wishes, or you can have a long heart-to-heart. In either case, here are some ways to deliver your video.

• Upload to Google Drive and email them directly or to the designated visitor
• Upload as a private video to YouTube and share the link
• Send the video to your Grandma's phone directly, if it's short enough and if she's hip like that

Some of these modern solutions require working together during tough times. This can only strengthen the family and might inspire others in your circle to get words off their chests and into a letter, eCard, or video.

Whichever method you choose to reach your loved one in the hospital during COVID-19, remember that any method is the right one. And when you're writing or filming? Don't try to be perfect. Just be authentic and speak from the heart.

Did this article help you reach a loved one from afar? Please consider leaving a tip if it did. I wish you and your family all of the best!