How to Prevent Jealousy Between Brothers?

The jealousy between siblings is a natural occurrence and usually occurs when a new baby appears in the family. This emotion arises from the fear of losing the love of the parents and can last until adolescence, even adulthood if the parents do not take the necessary measures in time. Feelings of jealousy can lead to emotions such as envy and rivalry.

Here are some symptoms of a child starting to get jealous:

• he tried insistently to distract you;

• asks to be taken more often in his arms;

• provokes conflicts or becomes aggressive with parents;

• begins to disobey his parents or opposes any decision;

• exhibits behavior that is not specific to his age; for example, like a baby, he can keep his finger in his mouth or get his pants wet, or even drink from his brother/sister's bottle;

• hits her fret/sister;

• he becomes silent, closed in on himself, isolates himself;

• does not want to interact with parents;

• behaves as if he has been offended, abandoned, lonely, or betrayed by those he loves;

• he becomes depressed or shows feelings of fear (that he will be abandoned, that he is no longer loved)

The jealousy between siblings can be prevented during pregnancy. You have 9 months to prepare it. Here's what you can do:

1. Tell the child that loves for him will not diminish but will multiply.
2. Tell motivational stories about families with brothers and sisters who help each other and are very happy together;
3. Tell with enthusiasm what a special and important role the family will play;
4. Prepare him for the role of a superhero in the family, being an example for the baby; he will protect and teach the little one, just as his parents do;
5. Tell the child what it will be like when a baby appears in the house. Prepare him that newborns sleep a lot, cry sometimes, and can not play. Tell him he was the same. Visit other families with newborns. Show him pictures of babies and tell him what he was like when he was little.
6. Answer your child's questions about where the child is. Let him listen to his mother's belly.
7. Encourage him to help you prepare the room for the newborn.
8. Prepare him a few days before the birth that you will go to the hospital, about the new regime you will have. If possible, show her the hospital where you will be born.
9. Tell him who will take care of him in your absence.
10. After birth, right from the hospital, if possible, call him, tell him what your little brother/sister is like, pay more attention to him, tell him how much you love him and how much it matters to you to give him support.
11. It would be ideal to keep the child's photo on the nightstand. When he visits you, he will see that it is important to you. This will give him the feeling that he is loved and that the appearance of the newborn has not changed that feeling;

With the appearance of the new baby, do not change your behavior and do not deprive him of the attention he previously had. We recommend the following:

1. Pay extra attention while the father or someone else is taking care of the baby.
2. Let him look at the newborn and touch him when he is ready. Don't force it.
3. Maintain your baby's diet until the newborn appears;
4. Let the baby help you take care of the baby. He can bring you diapers, collect your toys, and so on. Don't force him to help you. Leave him alone to offer you help, and if you do, be sure to praise him.
5. Never leave the baby with the baby alone. The older child may inadvertently injure the little one.
6. When your baby is asleep, try to spend time with your older child.
7. Show your older child affectionately and tell him or her how often you love him or her.
8. Under your supervision, let him hug his little brother/sister.

Do not lose heart when you see that, despite the effort, the feeling of jealousy can arise. Here are some tips on how to react in such situations:

1. Be prepared for these emotions in your child. Be patient and stay calm. Be aware, a new soul has appeared in his life and things are not as they used to be. The child also goes through emotional stress. He needs your support. Try to listen to him, show him compassion and understanding. Recognize the emotions they are experiencing and discuss them.
2. Try to overwhelm him with praise and encouragement for good things.
3. Be is consistent with discipline requirements. Use the same rules you used before the baby was born.
4. Ignore the behaviors that the older child is trying to get your attention on - baby's voice, finger in the nose, or sucking on the pacifier. Start praising him when he gives up baby behavior and encourage him to be a role model for the little one.
5. Tell motivational stories based on specific situations. Show through the story how important and special the role of an older sibling is.
6. Make it clear that domestic violence is prohibited and is punishable by the deprivation of certain facilities.
7. Never compare brothers and sisters, you risk triggering or encouraging rivalry. Talk about how special each of them is.

The hardest stage of the relationship between brothers is up to 12 years. There are 4 stages of socialization between brothers, which manifest at different ages:

Until the age of 2:

• older children show jealousy by destroying or hitting their sibling's toys or start crying hysterically, insisting on the other person's belongings;

• they quarrel with each other, even if they don't understand why;

• not being able to explain what they feel, they use physical aggression - they push, they hit.

From 3 to 4 years:

• shows the first signs of empathy, begins to cooperate, share things, and waits his turn to play with the same toy.

• instinctively resort to various types of behaviors for parents to confirm their affection and support.

• tries to capture attention through behavior, to surprise adults.

From 5 to 7 years:

• they begin to use reasoning in their behavior - they are ready to share things.

• Children may themselves offer other options for resolving conflicts (parents should encourage this).

From 8 to 12 years:

• It characterizes the character, the desire to be independent;

• The reaction to everything is - protest, more verbal;

• They make their circles of friends, interact with their siblings more at home than at school.

At this age, the rivalry is shaping up - who learns better, who is more dominant, etc. If by this age the parent manages to educate the friendship between the brothers, they will help and support each other until adulthood.

Jealousy is a destructive feeling. Try to prevent it until the new baby arrives.