How to Control Hysteria in Children

Hysterical seizures in young children are relatively normal, especially in children between the ages of 4 and 10–12 - after the ability to analyze and disseminate events and people around them and before the presumed development of puberty.

During this period - after 4 and before 10 years - children perceive only their own needs, desires, expectations, being unable and disinterested to analyze those of those around them. The child can hardly distinguish the possible consequences of his actions on others, orienting his actions in the direction of his own needs.

Hysterical seizures in young children - and here the term hysteria does not refer to a nervous disorder, but to a complex of behavioral symptoms specific to a normal young age - are caused by several central elements of the personality of most children below the age of puberty.

These include emotional instability - the rapid and unobtrusive transition from one state to another, begging for attention and appreciation from others, adults or other children, egocentrism - always putting one's desires first, being unable to think of others, lack of consideration for others, some provocative behaviors and even slightly aggressive when they do not get what they want.

How do children experience hysteria? When a child over-dramatizes a situation in which he did not like it: for example, he becomes very theatrical, crying and screaming that he has no parents who love him in the middle of a supermarket just because he was denied a toy.

Another example: he starts to cry with hiccups when he didn't get something at the moment, after which, without any external change, he laughs out loud! Children only know that they want something and then any action with a chance of success in getting that something is accepted on the spot, without further analysis.

Therefore, when they do not get something by crying, they can switch to some more or less aggressive behaviors: towards the objects around them, animals, or you as a parent. Aggression is sometimes passive - manifested by trying to ignore you completely, or verbally active - screaming, telling you how much you hate yourself and your physique - hitting, throwing objects, torturing small animals, or punching you.

Probably every parent went through an embarrassing scene with the little child in public: if he refused something - a toy, a candy -  the child started, either to cry uncontrollably, making his parent feel guilty and embarrassed or to screaming aggressively, putting him in an equally unpleasant situation!

It is important to remember that such hysteria attacks in young children are normal, as long as they do not exceed an average frequency and an average intensity.

How can you tell if you are worried? First of all, you need to make sure that once these hysteria attacks occur, do not encourage them - if you give in and give the child what he wanted before the crisis, you teach him that the strategy works and so he will repeat the behavior more and more often!

If you ignore him completely, it's a little better, but there is still the risk that the little one will repeat the crisis - because he is trying to find ways to get what he wants and the frustration caused by your ignorance and indifference can cause him to get worse!

It would be best to wait until it passes and try to explain to him that you simply cannot fulfill his request now, giving him an easy reason to understand! And if he refuses your explanation and continues to have crises, you can easily sanction him: the little one needs to learn that such behaviors are unacceptable and unfortunately the sanction is the most effective way to show him this.

Coming back, when the hysteria attacks of young children become a sign of mental disorders or inadequate development? When they start to multiply alarmingly: for example, not a day goes by without the little one making a scene at home or in kindergarten/school.

In addition, the intensity of these crises matters: how much does he cry, how much does his anger hold? Normally, once the tension is released, after an hour or two, the child will recover from the upset, especially if you explain to him why he cannot have what he wants.

Last but not least, the types of behaviors approached during the crisis and their intensity are important: if he starts hurting himself to ask for attention, if he throws objects brutally, especially if he hits animals, these can all be a sign that the little one needs help: he has not learned to distinguish between accepted and socially unacceptable behaviors.

Of course, such behaviors are provocative, the child intending to attract attention and revenge, but if they are characterized by a clear content of aggression, this is a sign that there is something wrong with his development. If the behaviors become extremely aggressive, the intervention of a specialist is necessary.

What often triggers such hysteria attacks in young children? First of all, envy - central emotion at a young age and extremely intense. Children are always compared to other children, and this comparison always goes in one direction: what the other has I want and deserve to have!

Some children even steal objects from their kindergarten classmates, not knowing another way to get what they want! The idea is that the little ones always want to have more things than the others. Strictly related to envy is also jealousy: if a colleague is more socially admired in the group from kindergarten/school or if the little one has a brother or sister, jealousy will appear unconditionally.

And because little ones know no other way to express their emotions, acute feelings of jealousy and envy will cause hysteria in children!

But children's hysteria can have another cause: the need for parental attention. When both parents are extremely busy and find it difficult to spend time with their little ones, they will try their best to attract attention. And since the little ones have an extremely theatrical behavior, the crises will be extremely intense and will bet on making the adults feel guilty.

Most often, children who face the situation of separation from their parents, want to be given constant attention, especially from the parent who leaves home: he feels that he loses his parent forever and that this happens because the adult does not he still loves, so he appeals to various visible manifestations of his emotions.

Finally, it is important to remember that hysteria attacks in young children are exacerbated and encouraged by excessive pampering: a child who is accustomed to asking and getting and who has been allowed too much to do what he wants will he reacts extremely negatively and intensely when he is finally denied something - whatever that is!

That is why the rules, the limits, and especially a realistic education of the little one are so important, being necessary the simple explanation of the reasons for the existence of those rules.

If you teach your child from an early age that he cannot have everything he wants, that no one has everything he wants and you learn to say "no" to him from time to time, you will be protected in the future from various unpleasant hysteria attacks.