Hope Like a Cork

Rain sluiced down the windshield, and sploshed against the windows. Darkness had drawn in quickly, thanks to impenetrable black clouds that dumped their bounty over the small community town that Trent now called home. He sat watching the drops splash, his thoughts a hundred miles away…

His beautiful wife had just lost their second baby - a tiny girl, Madeleine. Here he was, on his way to the clinic again, and yet quite lost. The traffic light had gone through several changes, but he remained still, far away.

Why?

Why why WHY? He smashed his hands against the wheel, the familiar red hot rage of helplessness descending again. Can we ever bear to go through this again? Can I stand by and watch her go through this again? Can I do that to her?

After they had lost Jake he thought Izzy would not recover. But she had - stronger and more confident than before. More thoughtful, more measured somehow. It wasn't as if she spoke of being afraid of losing Trent too - but sometimes it did feel as if she were fighting the panic of an over-active imagination. She always championed her fear though, and with the news of their second on the way, new hope had lit her up like a bonfire at halloween.

Trent did wonder if there was some force preventing his happiness, sabotaging his life. His own childhood as an unwanted orphan seemed at such odds with how very much he wished to be a father, with children of his own. Maybe this longing was his way of correcting the injustices of his own early years: and yet, parenthood eluded him.

His eyes were closed when there was a friendly hoot from behind his truck.

Trent! You dozer - pay attention! He raised his hand in apology to the driver behind him and took off through the rainwater, raising a creamy curtain of spray from the tyres. Parking outside the clinic, he gathered up Izzy’s clothes, dinner and a bag of treats from her students and prepared to make a dash to the entrance. Leaping out and banging the door closed, he was mostly successful in shielding his cargo from getting wet.

He found Izzy in the small staff lounge, chatting with the nurses. She was wrapped in her Mom’s old bath gown, her blond hair partly tumbling out of a messy bun. His heart squeezed - how does she look so darn amazing? Trent shook his head, and had to pause in wonder. If he had been through what she had, he would be curled up in a ball of self pity until further notice.

He swooped in and caught her up in an all-encompassing hug. A nurse laughed: “Careful Trent! She’s still a little fragile!”

But the face that Trent looked down into did not look in the least bit fragile. Izzy was laughing at him, her eyes sparkling. She had that crazy look - the one that always made him sit up straight and wonder what was coming, because it was never predictable!

“Hello Love - I’ve been waiting for you! Come!” She took his hand, waved to the nurses, and whisked him away back to her room.

When her supplies were all handed over and she had caught up on the news of his day, the farm and livestock, she sat on the bed and turned rather serious.

“Hon, I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I would really love to adopt two babies. Imagine if we could - we could keep siblings together, instead of separating them like you and Abby were. Jake would be 18 months old now. Not that I want to replace the babies we have lost, but because we can offer a home to children who need one.”

Trent was not expecting this. At all. He hadn't even considered the option of adopting. And yet how strange, he now pondered…. Why did he not think of this?

“My Goddess is a genius,” he told the ceiling.

After a long moment, Trent said, “I don't even know what to say. You’re so right, I’m only ashamed that I didn't think of adopting first. I guess I have been so worried about you - it’s kind of taking all my space…. Let’s give it some thought, discuss it, see how you are doing in the next few days. How are you?”

And they talked late into the night. Nightshift nurses made up a bed for Trent, and he stayed over - the animals had been fed and watered, and he would be back at the farm early, but Izzy’s idea had lit a fire under him and he wanted to be with her, to talk crazy and hold her and never let her go.

How quickly things can change, he thought. I drove here tonight in despair. And with one sentence, a door of hope just opened. One idea. A life-changing idea.

Trent lay next to Izzy on her uncomfortably narrow hospital bed, one hand behind his head and the other around his sleeping wife, and he gazed at the brand new crescent moon that floated between the clouds.

“God,” he said softly. “Please send us a green light if adopting is a good option for us. I would love that - I know it will be tough, but with such a woman as this, we would be a great team. I know we would. Thank you. Amen.”

He smiled, feeling a little childish and immature - he remembered the last time he had prayed, and that was right before the police had nabbed him in his delinquent youth on the streets. But this was different. This was about other children, not himself: and this was not a plea for getting away with crime - this was a heartfelt request to be a solution. If his eighteen-year-old self had foreseen this moment, he would not have believed it. He had a wife in a million, and was considering giving orphans a home, on his very own farm.

So he lay and watched the moon until it crossed the window out of sight, and he could not comprehend the different person that he was now at twenty five.

Just shows, you know, thought Trent to himself. Never give up hope. Things can turn around in a moment - a thought, a spark. Right when we least expect it.

Morning came. A crystal clear, freshly washed world welcomed a new dawn that smiled upon Izzy and Trent as they slept, and playful sunbeams spun them dreams of happy children growing with goats and hens - and one day, maybe a pony or two…