Home is Where the Heart is

To many when you hear the word home you think of a house, you get a very distinct image in your mind of what you expect a home to look like. I was raised with the belief of the white picket fence, a dream. Although this image for me has changed over time as it has for many others, however for me the image is not one of walls and a roof.

The phrase "home is where the heart is "doesn't ring more true than for a military family. I being born and raised on the island of O'ahu grew up among some of the most fantastic awe inspiring views on this earth. From luscious grass that seemed airbrushed with emeralds or the crystal waters that surrounded us flickering with a wide array of blues that could only be compared to that of sapphires. With each sunset the reflections of fire could be seen cast from waters to cliffs until it sank into the horizon and the sky then sparkled lit by diamonds within it's ebony folds. I left this paradise when I married into the military, those memories of my childhood and images on my screen are all I have to hold on to.

Being a military family you sacrifice a great deal when it comes to family, friends and location. Without being able to fully choose where we wanted to call "home" we were forced to make home wherever we were. With our continual upheaval with each new duty station our family grew as did the number of "homes" we had under our belt. My spouse was active duty and deployed for about 9 months each year so home became very mobile. "Home is Where the Heart Is " became literal to us, it wasn't a place, it wasn't a location or time it was something we carried with us no matter where we went, in our case over 10 states and numerous addresses.

Coming from an island paradise, I had to learn to adapt, the icy winds and frigid snow that whipped in the north or the sand swept dust storms and tornado alarms in tornado alley. Each location became an adventure into our family, each location added memories that dug it’s grip into our hearts that forever influenced our growth.

Along our journey we traversed into rough waters that in the end left me washed upon shore with my four boys, across the country from my home of origin and alone. With the world around me crumbling, all that I knew disappearing in a wave of torment, I held tight to my four boys, the four chambers of my heart . Too far to travel back to the land I came from, with no means of support I tumbled down a dark road of despair. During the end of the marriage, our home became broken, not because we were separating but because the hearts were in turmoil. The hearts that made the home a home were struggling to beat, fighting to exist. Those four innocent children , the lights of my life, are the reason I am alive today, they are the soul purpose and devotion that drove me to seek the help I so desperately needed . This is my home.

My boys and I travelled again, to find ourselves, to rediscover who we were as a family, and we did. Having been a stay at home mother for most of their lives the road to reemployment and skill development was a difficult task. I was now a single mother of 4 boys with no support structure for me to return to work. Along with the struggle of life and motherhood there were still emotional and mental scars that needed to be faced. This healing process took many years, but through those years the foundation for our home grew stronger roots, intertwining within each other, pulling us into an unbreakable bond. This bond is reinforced daily through our dedication to each other, our happiness and success in life. They are home.

We finally found where we were meant to settle, where we chose to be . This location completed us as an ohana, it seemed to quell the gypsy heart which we had become so fond of over the many years of supporting an active duty service member. It didn't matter where life put us, it didn't matter what life threw at us, together as a family we were always home, and now our roots dig deep into the soil of Colorado, nourishing our souls, and spreading the aloha spirit that dwells within each of us. WE are home.