Holy Grail Parenting

It's irrational in my opinion, that many people think because they were parented a certain way, that they should just repeat the same methods for their own children. Here's why you need to have critical thinking skills and know how to gather information on parenting from different sources. In the end, you have the freedom to raise your children as you see fit. Just make sure that you have the patience, empathy, responsibility and knowledge necessary to do it. This way you can raise a happy, healthy child without damaging another person for life.

My personal opinion on the role of a parent is that we are stewards, or guides for little humans. To teach them ways to successfully navigate the coming world. A really simple analogy is that you're the tutorial helper to a human life simulation. Try to be helpful!
 We are just now, really starting to take an interest in how our minds work.


1. THE MIND (You and I are not, "OK")


This is a hard fact of life that we all must realize before we can grow and mature as human beings. We live in a brutal, natural world where we, like all animals can be harmed or die at any time. As a result humans have an inherent brutality or propensity for violence that has been programmed in us as a way to survive as a species, especially when dealing with other competing predatory animals. With the application of new technologies and societal safety and cooperation, we no longer utilize this trait as much. Life becomes easier, safer and more comfortable, as our ability to shape the world with technology increases.
 If you live in a developed nation, it is possible although unlikely, that you could live your whole life without seeing or getting into a violent altercation once. That being said, having the ability or knowledge to defend oneself is extremely important and should be a subject of education for any child. There is a high probability that you will encounter some form of violence, whether it be sexual, physical or emotional in nature during your life time. Chances are, one or more of these events will occur during your most vulnerable years as a child and will be perpetrated by relative, or family friend. Talk to your kids about healthy physical interactions. It will help them to understand a situation that could result in physical or emotional harm.

Our traumatic memories of harmful events in our own past, coupled with our physiological traits of hormone release, can cause us to react to situations of stress, leading us to harm others even by accident. This means, that if you use some form of violence in raising your child, it is highly likely that they will use violence against others in their own lives. It is why we need to understand and work to rectify our own behavior, before we take on the responsibility of raising another human.


2. THE BODY (What about diet and nutrition?)


Our diet as human beings has evolved vastly over the the last few thousand years. What we are seeing currently, is the effect mass production has had on our food sources. We have modified our food via selective breeding and genetic manipulation. Food manufacturers use chemical flavoring and preservatives which can have adverse effects. Foods become contaminated with the use of chemical pesticides as well. We have fallen prey to convenience even at the expense of the required nutrition our bodies demand in order to maintain good health. This has caused a boom in the drug industry in order to mask symptoms of avoidable diseases, so we can continue to make the same errors when selecting food for a proper diet. A developing child needs proper nutrition. This should be a priority for any parent. Still, what is a proper diet anyway?


Every person is different. Our intake of fats, sugars, proteins, minerals and vitamins should be tuned individually to our bodies. Absent the information required for that, pediatric experts have lots of updated information for how best to keep your child healthy via proper nutrition. I believe through analysis of the current knowledge available, that you should always make sure to eat a well rounded diet of naturally occurring foods in order to lead a healthy lifestyle. We have evolved to survive off the natural sources of food all around us, both plant and animal based. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, and meats are all part of a balanced diet (although there is lots of evidence diets without meat can still be used to maintain health). Processed foods, which can contain harmful chemical preservatives should be used sparingly.

I personally will eat fast food sometimes. There have also been times where I've fed my child chicken nuggets. Moderation is key. The less you rely on processed foods to feed yourself and your children, the better for health outcomes. Remember that what you eat when developing, has even more impact on you when you as a child.



3. THE SOUL (Chicken soup for the... never-mind)


Since this is a controversial subject, I will try to keep it within the realm of reality. What I mean when I say, "Soul" is what I interpret to be your inner peace of mind and consciousness. There are many theologies in the world today which try to explain the perception of reality, or what we believe to be true in the world around us. As a critical thinker, I firmly believe in the introduction of all ideas, so that we can analyze and separate truth from fiction. I will teach my child about Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism and any other theologies they wish to learn about. Religion and faith are known to be sources of stress relief and stability psychologically although literal interpretation of religious dogma is often irrational and anti-science.

I will do this mainly because I want them to understand what influences they've had on our entire culture and that diversity of ideas is a precursor to human progress. This will include the history of religions as organizations, their teachings and how they've positively and negatively affected our world. I'll also teach my child about spirituality and how practices like meditation can be beneficial for mental health.
I will not force any belief system or perception of reality on my child. I would like to also thank my parents for introducing me to religion as a choice and not through coercion.

Eventually, when my perception of reality evolved, it was unimpeded by my parents or any other authoritative factor. Since then, I have educated myself on many major religions and considered it more of a mythological, cultural journey. It has helped me to connect with people of all races, especially living in Canada which has a high level of tolerance for immigration and pride in diversity of it's citizenry. This ability to appreciate the cultures of others, has increased my ability to think critically and boost my chances of success and strength of my support network. I have actually made more money and had more friends in my life because of it. You owe it to your child to give him or her any chance to increase their success and happiness in life. Positive social connections are beneficial to happiness!

Teaching your child humility and mindfulness will also go a long way to promote good mental health. You should be an authority on this subject. Your child should feel comfortable talking to you about their feelings. These talks should start from a young age and be a part of your relationship permanently.

We can correct our own behavior when it comes to our minds, bodies and souls. We all have that power being in control of our thoughts and actions. If we can accomplish this, I believe we can achieve the balance required, to raise a happy, critically thinking, moral, responsible, free human.