Heterosexual couples have a secret weapon that keeps them together

Please note: This article is not against same-sex couples but addresses an interesting scientific fact that only relates to relationships where there is a male and a female.

There are many articles on the Internet that champion the benefits of sleeping next to your partner. These include feeling more relaxed, improved sleep, preventing being overweight, improved immune system, lower blood pressure, extended life span, and overall good health. The term "partner" can refer to any couple and is the terminology most used today. I recall something I read years ago in Women's Health Magazine that I am not able to find anywhere on the Internet.

This particular article was long before same-sex marriage became legal and addressed an issue that was only pertinent to a male-female marriage. There is an added bonus for heterosexual couples who have been married a long time that is specifically because there is a man and a woman in the relationship. Practically everything I find on the Internet now addresses how sleeping next to your partner can give you the above-mentioned benefits and can boost sex life because of the release of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

There has been much research done regarding becoming with your significant other as you can read in the accompanying links. The Women's Health article spoke about something different and I cannot believe I am having trouble finding anything related to it online. I share what I read although I cannot back it up and if anyone can shed light on this please do.

The article I read said that when a married couple sleeps naked next to each other in a long-term relationship the man and woman each emit different chemicals that over a period of time bond and combine and keep them together. This is different from the general hormones and chemicals already mentioned. This relates to what is personal between a particular married couple and I liken it to mixing two colognes together and coming up with a third and different scent. The article was specific that males and females were drawn to each other and became closer because of this bonding process, the difference in body chemicals and their own personal scents.

This would explain why some older married couples are still holding hands and hugging and displaying affection for each other and why so many widows say they miss the scent of their spouse and find themselves smelling their clothing. When my husband was hospitalized and unable to speak I would lay across him and just enjoy his specific body smell for lack of a better world. I found comfort and satisfaction in that and it helped me to not miss him as much at home in my bed.

Everything I read now is all about sex only but that early article talked about being connected and attached to your spouse in a way that helped couples remain together. I think of this now that my husband of 40 years has passed away. I noticed that during the last 3 or 4 years we spent a lot of time just sitting next to each other, or holding hands when we walked. If we were in a church service, wedding, or funeral we would sit with our legs touching. These were intimate moments that did not necessarily lead to sex.

This was a connection that was satisfying but not lustful in nature. I do believe that over the 4 decades together when we slept with our bodies touching that we each were releasing chemicals that connected us without our realizing what was going on. Society today equates intimacy with the act of sexual intercourse only and this is inaccurate. Studies are done by people who have not been in a relationship 4, 5, or 6 decades to talk about it from the other side. It's natural that a 30 or 40 year old will desire to focus on intercourse as the main point and sex is great but there is so much more to relationships that keep them together.

I found in the later years of my marriage that I was protective of my spouse, began spoiling him and just wanted to be in his presence. This was different from everything we did leading to sex when we got home. I found that just being together felt just as rewarding as actually making love only in a different way.

I have heard husbands and wives say they tired of looking at their mate during COVID lockdowns but I never did. I enjoyed laying on the bed with my husband next to me even when he was reading the paper and I was writing. I will continue researching this information and add it to this article if and when I find it something similar to that early article. I think it makes sense that men and women would emit different chemicals that when combined draw them closer. After all, it takes a man's sperm and a woman's egg to combine to create another human being. I find it all so fascinating.

I understand that in today's society terms like partner and significant other are being utilized more than husband and wife but we should not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just because something is unique to a relationship with a man and a woman does not mean it should not be celebrated, and to do so is not throw shade on any other relationship. In this world there is room for us all and each person can share their particular truth.