Growing Up is Hard!

I am not exactly sure when it happened. Something clicked like it hasn’t before. Now I am getting used to my new life, for the most part and things seem to be falling into place, but it is a bit scary. Growing up may be part of life, but it is hard.

Since the middle(ish) of 2014, up until a few weeks ago, I had been living at home with my parents. My husband moved in with us, in 2016ish, when we were dating. We each have children from a previous marriage and in 2020, we welcomed our little “Broly” who was a miracle baby in so many ways. So many things have happened in these past 10+ years, all while living with my parents. The main reason for living with them was due to medical issues I had been experiencing since I was a teenager. After our son was born, my doctors found the right meds for me. I got a job (longest job I have had! I have been there for three years now!) and lost 120 pounds.

In October of 2024, I started getting my credit in order. I knew we needed to move out and have our own family together, but I wanted to make sure I was safe in my job (my store director's last day was a few days ago so hopefully my job IS still safe.. haha.) Now that I have been there for three years, we took the leap and found an apartment. My bonus son was able to come with us and now we are getting used to being alone, while.. Not being alone? Our small family was able to move into an amazing three bedroom apartment. We were even able to bring our little dog, Jacky Poo! He seems to love being an only dog and having his own space as well. We have to get used to bringing him on walks though.

The hardest part has been getting used to the extra gas it takes for my husband to get to work. We thought we had it covered last week and had a fumble.. But all in all we survived. Luck seems to be on my side. I say “my” side because .. well I am the one who does the research and takes any extra steps to ensure we have something to get to and from work. I even do little extra "games" online to come up with a few extra dollars hear and there.

My other struggle is being away from my family. We are a really close and tight-knit family. It’s hard not seeing my mom or sister all the time and not having my grandma right down the street. The youngest (he is almost 5 now) misses his grandpa and the animals there. But he’s loving having pool access and his own space.

I am hoping to get used to things and have finances in order. I have never been the best at budgeting and math isn’t my strong suite. I am sure it will work out in one way or another, it’s just going to take some time to get used to.

Did I mention, I turn 40 at the end of October. It seems that although I am on my third marriage and have been through a lifetime of experiences, it took just about 40 years for all of this to click and for me to start fully becoming who I am meant to be. I am learning to be more independent, grow as an individual and I feel that my parenting is also becoming stronger.