Growing up, Getting out, Creating your new Family

Family, the foundation for the next generation of adults. Some people have large families, while others have small families, and some people have no family at all, or feel isolated from them over time. Friends and teachers are the outside forces that also influence much of our dreams and aspirations. Traditions change with the passing of grandparents and great grandparents, family reunions become less and less, so we try our best to create our own traditions.

Death of parents pull siblings apart, it's not always a negative thing, people learn about themselves through these moments, how they deal with the loss of a loved one. Keeping in touch with friends after school is done and you enter the "real world" as so many called it after my graduation from high school, becomes nearly impossible. Not because we don't have the tools necessary to connect but time gets away from us, we move in different directions.

Even with social media sites and cell-phones it is hard to keep up with the people you care about and build and maintain strong and healthy relationships. What they, all the grown ups in your life, fail to tell you, is how difficult those moments of loneliness and feeling hopeless can be. They don't tell you how important it is not to burn those bridges just because of a childish tantrum of not getting things to go your way.

Keeping relationships strong during the COVID-19 pandemic has proven that much more difficult as we face uncertainties about our own health and abilities to travel and feel safe about where we are going and how we will get there. Meeting new people if you weren't previously in a relationship moving towards marriage or whatever arrangement you have set for yourselves, is down right impossible. It's not that social media and dating apps aren't good options for meeting people and staying in touch, it's the unreliability of both people and circumstances.

You learn, from your peers and relationships that maybe staying home longer and listening to your parents and respecting their views, would have been a better choice. However, once you take that leap and you're in your first place, your own space, to do as you please, you realize how amazing that feeling is, to have your own hide away without really having to hide from anything.

It's important once you move out on your own to put yourself out there and keep your relationships alive. Even if it's a quick Facebook message, a text, a phone call, a letter, whatever you choose let the people you care about know that you are thinking of them. Relationships, friendships and family changes; the most exciting and nerve racking part of being on your own is choosing who you call family and friend. And as you go through life, your family and friends change.

You could have a falling out with a dear friend, or meet your husband because your best friend talked you into a night out you wouldn't have originally gone along for and your whole life changes.

Taking care of your mental and physical health is also important. You don't have to listen to the people telling you to go to counseling or seeking help but you can. At the end of the day a lot of people are selfish and out for themselves, so it's okay to be a little selfish from time to time. On the other hand there are genuinely good people out there who do care for the well being of others. Your memory does live on in the people you spend time with even if it's a quick passing at the grocery store.

Learn what works best for you in your relationships. If you feel better off alone, go that route, growing up and moving out is all about you in a lot of aspects. You can reflect on how your parents raised you and your experience with your peers and say to yourself, "that's no longer for me, and that's okay."

Whatever path you choose, staying home, moving out, staying social or becoming a recluse, keep the relationship you have with yourself strong. You'll find that you have a lot of ideas for how you want your life to look and be that may or may not have lined up with what you have grown up knowing. It's okay to go off the beaten path and explore new avenues and relationships you haven't ever tried. You never really know, until it's done, where life will take you.